TPO 44-
Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer?
As modern societies continue to grow, more parents spend most of their times in a day at work. As a result, they have less time to spend with their children. Many parents are concerned about how to use this valuable time. Some of them prefer to use this time to help their children in their studies, while others think it is better to spend this time doing more fun things. In my opinion, parents should focus on having fun with their kids and doing something they both enjoy. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, playing sports or games with children can strengthen the relationship between parents and their kids. When children see that parents spend time with them, trying to play sports, or going to an amusement park, they will understand it better that their parents love them and care for them. My own experience is a compelling evidence of this. I remember when I was a child, both my parents had busy schedules. They had to work all days and I spent most of my days in the kindergarten with other children. But in the weekends and most holidays, my parents tried their best to plan something fun for the three of us. All those trips and sports we played with each other just enhanced our bonds. As a result I became closer with my parents. Just like me, thousands of children around the world, wish to create precious memories with their parents and the parents spare time is the best opportunity to do that.
Secondly, playing sports and other physical activities with children will increase their physical and mental health. Children spend so many hours at school or kindergartens, sitting behind a desk and trying to learn new things. So they need to exercise or have outdoor activities besides that. It is important that children learn form an early age that they should find balance between their mental and physical activities and parents can teach them this value by doing physical activities with them. For example, my older sister has always taken her daughter out on weekends and they exercise or run together. After three years my niece is now much more stronger than her classmates, she completely knows direct influence of mental and physical health and she even tries to teach that to her classmates. That physical power has also gave her more mental power to study and she is the top student in her class and has won many educational awards. Had she not spent times with her mother after school doing physical activities, she wouldn’t have been so successful.
I conclusion, I strongly believe that parents should spend their spare time with their children doing fun things. That is because these activities strengthen their relationship with their kids and because it will help children gain mental health
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'betters', 'wells'?
Suggestion: betters; wells
...amusement park, they will understand it better that their parents love them and care f...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 706, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ith each other just enhanced our bonds. As a result I became closer with my parent...
^^
Line 5, column 280, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d to exercise or have outdoor activities besides that. It is important that child...
^^
Line 5, column 332, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to form'
Suggestion: to form
...at. It is important that children learn form an early age that they should find bala...
^^^^
Line 5, column 652, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'stronger' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: stronger
... After three years my niece is now much more stronger than her classmates, she completely kno...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 836, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'given'.
Suggestion: given
...lassmates. That physical power has also gave her more mental power to study and she ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, second, secondly, so, then, while, for example, i feel, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 81.0 43.0788530466 188% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2317.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 484.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78719008264 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38916153821 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469008264463 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 661.5 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.5018344441 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.68 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.36 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.68 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.373481240655 0.236089414692 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115556762435 0.076458572812 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0985322235133 0.0737576698707 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.255852089723 0.150856017488 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0916946831855 0.0645574589148 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.63 8.01818996416 83% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.