TPO-47 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is important to know about events happening around the world, even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life.

With the development of the technology such as the mass media and the internet, the world became globalized. We can easily access the information we need to keep up to date with the most recent events. Knowing what happening around you help you to be well-rounded person among other people. some people contend that it is not necessary to know the events that happened around in the world because they do not have time to know the news due to their busy schedule. However, as far as I am concerned ,I completely agree with the statement because of the following reasons.

First of all, knowing what happened in the world help someone to be knowledgable and well-informed. When someone has a debate or discussion with other people , that would help someone to talk and argue the issue of discussion. It reflects a message to the other people that this person is well-rounded ,therefore, people can not beat him in the discussion, and he has the ability to convince the other people with his opinion, he will become an influential person in his society. Accordind to recent survey showed that people who are connected to the new events that happening around them are more likely to affect other people's opinions. For example, my cousin is always up to date to the events that happened around him as he constantly watching TV and reading the news paper. Whenever he debate with other people in a large group, his opinion is always win and convince other people with his ideas. This example demonstrate the importance of knowing the events that happened around you.
Moreover, knowing what happened around the world help someone to be connected with the world. Thanks to the technology that made our world as a close-knit society, so, it is easier for us now to be connected with the world.For example, I have been living in the US for almost ten years, every day , I watch the news to know what happened in my country, since the politics are not stable yet as there is still wars. I was be able to watch the demonstration of 25 th Januarythat occured in 2009 in Egypt. Keeping up -to date with the news helped me to be connected with my contry and tracks every event in the moment of occuring. As you can see , watching news helped me to be in contact with the world.

To put in a nutshell, knowing what happened around you help someone to be knowledgeable as well as being connected with the world. We should all konow the events that happened in the world to be informed and not behind others.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... as the mass media and the internet, the world became globalized. We can easily a...
^^
Line 1, column 293, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...well-rounded person among other people. some people contend that it is not necessary...
^^^^
Line 1, column 499, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...edule. However, as far as I am concerned ,I completely agree with the statement be...
^^
Line 3, column 158, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...a debate or discussion with other people , that would help someone to talk and arg...
^^
Line 3, column 302, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... people that this person is well-rounded ,therefore, people can not beat him in th...
^^
Line 3, column 608, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...happening around them are more likely to affect other peoples opinions. For exam...
^^
Line 3, column 616, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g around them are more likely to affect other peoples opinions. For example, my ...
^^
Line 3, column 742, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'watches'.
Suggestion: watches
...at happened around him as he constantly watching TV and reading the news paper. Whenever...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 770, Rule ID: NEWS_PAPER[1]
Message: Did you mean 'newspaper'? This word sequence is usually spelled together.
Suggestion: newspaper
... constantly watching TV and reading the news paper. Whenever he debate with other people i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 794, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'debates'.
Suggestion: debates
...and reading the news paper. Whenever he debate with other people in a large group, his...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 859, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'won'.
Suggestion: won
...in a large group, his opinion is always win and convince other people with his idea...
^^^
Line 3, column 918, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'demonstrates'.
Suggestion: demonstrates
...her people with his ideas. This example demonstrate the importance of knowing the events th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 224, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...r us now to be connected with the world.For example, I have been living in the US f...
^^^
Line 4, column 297, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n the US for almost ten years, every day , I watch the news to know what happened ...
^^
Line 4, column 395, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are still wars'?
Suggestion: there are still wars
...ince the politics are not stable yet as there is still wars. I was be able to watch the demonstrati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 422, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
...table yet as there is still wars. I was be able to watch the demonstration of 25 t...
^^
Line 4, column 643, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n the moment of occuring. As you can see , watching news helped me to be in contac...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['first', 'however', 'moreover', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'well', 'for example', 'such as', 'as well as', 'first of all']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.198757763975 0.229887763892 86% => OK
Verbs: 0.175983436853 0.158761421928 111% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0662525879917 0.0866891130778 76% => OK
Adverbs: 0.055900621118 0.046263068375 121% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0745341614907 0.0685040099705 109% => OK
Prepositions: 0.120082815735 0.118717715034 101% => OK
Participles: 0.0434782608696 0.0351676179071 124% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.56177816869 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0517598343685 0.0309702414327 167% => OK
Particles: 0.00621118012422 0.00188951952338 329% => OK
Determiners: 0.103519668737 0.0887237588012 117% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0124223602484 0.0209618222197 59% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0269151138716 0.0139019557991 194% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2502.0 2387.08602151 105% => OK
No of words: 447.0 408.028673835 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.59731543624 5.86048508987 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59808378696 4.48200974243 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.331096196868 0.338922669872 98% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.201342281879 0.251872472559 80% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.145413870246 0.174417080927 83% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0917225950783 0.112833075102 81% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56177816869 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442953020134 0.524397521467 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 48.7221040429 59.2087087015 82% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6684587814 92% => OK
Sentence length: 23.5263157895 20.5533526081 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.0149565846 48.84282405 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.684210526 120.699889404 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5263157895 20.5533526081 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.578947368421 0.644075263715 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.54480286738 307% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 43.6605439774 45.7405998639 95% => OK
Elegance: 1.18243243243 1.45489161554 81% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.346435083629 0.300154397459 115% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.15188503266 0.103427244359 147% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.08954560718 0.0752933317313 119% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.572827889879 0.497263757937 115% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.140205713024 0.151897553556 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156832735372 0.114077575197 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0618764461021 0.0781384742642 79% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.558176939711 0.336927656856 166% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0406687576039 0.067059652881 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.267006651317 0.210909579961 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0656204806568 0.0618886996521 106% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8870967742 109% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.86379928315 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.91756272401 122% => OK
Positive topic words: 11.0 8.42114695341 131% => OK
Negative topic words: 0.0 2.4623655914 0% => More negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.75985663082 217% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 13.6433691756 125% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

knowing what happened in the world help someone
knowing what happened in the world helps someone

his opinion is always win and convince other people
his opinions always win and convince other people

knowing what happened around the world help someone
knowing what happened around the world helps someone

Sentence: Whenever he debate with other people in a large group, his opinion is always win and convince other people with his ideas.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to he and debate

Sentence: This example demonstrate the importance of knowing the events that happened around you.
Description: The fragment example demonstrate the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace demonstrate with verb, past tense

Sentence: First of all, knowing what happened in the world help someone to be knowledgable and well-informed.
Error: knowledgable Suggestion: knowledgeable

Sentence: I was be able to watch the demonstration of 25 th Januarythat occured in 2009 in Egypt.
Error: occured Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: th Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Keeping up -to date with the news helped me to be connected with my contry and tracks every event in the moment of occuring.
Error: occuring Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: contry Suggestion: country

Sentence: We should all konow the events that happened in the world to be informed and not behind others.
Error: konow Suggestion: know

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Words: 445 while No. of Different Words: 193 //it means it is wordy

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2003 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.501 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.466 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.905 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.373 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.242 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5