Easter Island
Easter Island, located in the Pacific Ocean about 4000 miles from the coast of Chile, is one of the most isolated places in the world. It is best known for the Moai, monolithic statues of human figures carved from volcanic rock and located around the island. While today the Moai are a great source of revenue from tourists who flock to the island, research suggests that their construction actually led to the decline and eventual collapse of the island’s culture.
First of all, evidence suggests that the obsession which the people of Easter Island had with building the Moai led to non-productive use of natural resources, specifically of the island’s forests. The Moai were huge, with some weighing nearly eighty tons. Moving them from the quarries where they were carved to their intended resting spots required the use of wooden tracks equipped with log rollers. The islanders cut down vast amounts of valuable trees for no other purpose that to move the statues across their island.
Moai construction continued for centuries and eventually every single tree on the island was cut down to build the aforementioned tracks. This complete deforestation had disastrous effects on the island. Migratory birds, which had been a big part of the islander’s diet stopped coming to Easter Island. Meanwhile, the fishing industry on the island collapsed because the leaves of the island’s palm trees had been used to construct fishing boats. In addition, soil erosion caused by the lack of trees made it difficult to even grown food.
Finally, the above issues lead to a major population decline. From a high of twenty thousand people at the peak of its civilization, only two thousand people remained when European explorers first reached Easter Island in the eighteenth century. This mass die-off was clearly a result of the food shortage described above. Human remains from the period suggest that the population descended into cannibalism as things got progressively worse over the years.
The lecturer is giving a conference on the history of the Easter Island, expressing ideas and explanations on why he sustains that the Moai construction was not the leading cause of the Easter Island’s collapse.
Firstly, he claims that the Moai construction was not transferred thanks to wodden tracks with log rollers as stated in the reading passage, ropes were used instead. In addition, an experiment was performed by a group of researchers with the aim of demonstrating the feasibility of the method. They succeed in performing the task, proving that ropes may have been used.
This study implies that, as stated by the lecturer, trees were not cut down to build the aforementioned tracks, consequently deforestation was not linked with the Moai construction . Thanks to this explanation, it is eventually shown that, all the other consequences of the deforestation, like birds’ migration, fishing industry’s fall as well as soil erosion, do not hold true. Finally, other studies recently proved that rats brought by Europeans may have caused the deforestation on the Island.
Morerover, it is likely that a population of two thousand people could have been the largest that have ever lived in the Easter Island. Indeed, researchers showed that the mentioned Island was not populated before 12 A.D. rather than in 400 A.D. ; thereby they could have not had the chance to increase their number to twenty thousand, as stated in the article.
All together the reasons argued by the lecturer shows that there is a consistent discrepancy between the content of the article and that of the lecture itself, as Moai construction is not the cause of the deforestation occurred on the Easter Island.
Sentence: Firstly, he claims that the Moai construction was not transferred thanks to wodden tracks with log rollers as stated in the reading passage, ropes were used instead.
Description: The fragment not transferred thanks is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace transferred with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: This study implies that, as stated by the lecturer, trees were not cut down to build the aforementioned tracks, consequently deforestation was not linked with the Moai construction .
Description: The fragment , consequently deforestation is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace consequently with adjective
Sentence: Morerover, it is likely that a population of two thousand people could have been the largest that have ever lived in the Easter Island.
Description: The tag an adjective, superlative is not usually followed by that
Suggestion: Refer to largest and that
Sentence: Indeed, researchers showed that the mentioned Island was not populated before 12 A.D. rather than in 400 A.D. ; thereby they could have not had the chance to increase their number to twenty thousand, as stated in the article.
Description: The word had is not usually used as a verb 'to have', past participle
Suggestion: Refer to had
Sentence: Firstly, he claims that the Moai construction was not transferred thanks to wodden tracks with log rollers as stated in the reading passage, ropes were used instead.
Error: wodden Suggestion: wooden
Error: log Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: They succeed in performing the task, proving that ropes may have been used.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Finally, other studies recently proved that rats brought by Europeans may have caused the deforestation on the Island.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 277 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes. Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Better to use 'first, second, third' for the beginning the of the paragraphs.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 12
No. of Words: 277 250
No. of Characters: 1383 1200
No. of Different Words: 149 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.08 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.993 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.859 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.626 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.4 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.707 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4