Monetary rewards are among the most impressive ways to encourage children to achieve high grades. Personally, I believe that offering financial incentives for children when they obtain a good grade is a good idea. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, financial rewards can gear children in the right direction. It is sometimes tricky for children to understand the importance of academic success, so it is up to their parents to direct them toward the right path, and monetary rewards are one of the best means to do so. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. My parents have sent me to English language classes since I was nine years old. Back then, it was extremely difficult for me to understand the reason for studying English. Therefore, my parents determined some rewards to encourage me to study English and achieve high grades. Although I did not really enjoy studying English, I managed to learn study materials and receive good grades in order to gain financial rewards. Thanks to those rewards, now, I understand that my English skills have helped me immensely throughout my life. Additionally, by monetary rewards, parents can inform their children that their good behaviors will be compensated, which can motivate them to continue that behavior.
Secondly, rewards can be extremely beneficial for children's mental health. It has been proven that when we receive rewards, our brain starts to release some chemicals that make us feel excited and happy. These moods are essential for children's mental health and prevent them from getting depressed. That's why people tend to achieve specific goals. Because when they achieve a goal, the reward hormone begins to be released in the brain, and they will experience great pleasure. Receiving rewards can also boost children's self-esteem and make them feel better about themselves. Therefore, parents can improve their children's mental conditions as well as increase their productivity by offering them monetary rewards.
In summary, I am of the opinion that people should consider financial rewards for their children whenever they receive high grades in school. It is difficult for children to understand the significance of studying, and monetary incentives can stimulate them to achieve academic goals. Moreover, these rewards can benefit children mentally by releasing chemicals that make them happier.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 691, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to study'
Suggestion: to study
...oy studying English, I managed to learn study materials and receive good grades in or...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...nd prevent them from getting depressed. Thats why people tend to achieve specific goa...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, in summary, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 10.4613686534 115% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 5.04856512141 218% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 22.412803532 223% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 30.3222958057 122% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 5.01324503311 120% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1814.0 1373.03311258 132% => OK
No of words: 340.0 270.72406181 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33529411765 5.08290768461 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29407602571 4.04702891845 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72405026147 2.5805825403 106% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 145.348785872 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535294117647 0.540411800872 99% => OK
syllable_count: 548.1 419.366225166 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 3.25607064018 399% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 8.23620309051 12% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.25165562914 160% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.51434878587 198% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 13.0662251656 145% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 21.2450331126 80% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.6311487141 49.2860985944 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.4736842105 110.228320801 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8947368421 21.698381199 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.10526315789 7.06452816374 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.09492273731 73% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 4.33554083885 346% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.284726274763 0.272083759551 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0921583314382 0.0996497079465 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0534282406163 0.0662205650399 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21168796773 0.162205337803 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0341196018754 0.0443174109184 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.3589403974 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 53.8541721854 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.0289183223 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.2367328918 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.42419426049 95% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 63.6247240618 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.7273730684 79% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.498013245 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.