TOEFL Sample essay : integrated essay from TPO 12

In this set of materials the reading passage provides three reasons to prove that a full-length portrait is Jane Austen's depiction. However, the lecturer finds all the ideas dubious and presents some evidence to refute them all.

First, the author of the reading passage states that the publication of the portrait is done with the permission of Austin's family that identified it as Austin's portrait. In contrast, the lecturer rejects the idea and asserts that the portrait was published 70 years after Jane Austin's death so her family members that authorized the publication may have not seen her in person. Therefore, they cannot clearly and certainly express that the portrait's subject is Jane Austin.

Furthermore, it is mentioned in the reading passage that the depicted portrait looks like Austin's picture drawn by Cassandra, her sister, in most details. On the contrary, the speaker states that the resemblance cannot prove that the sketch is related to Austin since it can be a drawing of any of her family members like her nieces, cousins, or children who were at the same age of the picture and resembled Austin.

Finally, the reading passage links the portrait's style to Ozias Humphrey who was active when Austin was a teenager and states that Austin's family hired him to draw Austin's picture. Conversely, the lecturer declares that the stamp on the back of the canvas reveals that the portrait was painted at least when Austin was 27 years old, not her adolescence.

Votes
Average: 9.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

they cannot clearly and certainly express that the portrait's subject is Jane Austin.
Description: check books how to use 'express'

the portrait was painted at least when Austin was 27 years old, not her adolescence.
the portrait was painted at least when Austin was 27 years old, not in her adolescence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 12
No. of Words: 246 250
No. of Characters: 1216 1200
No. of Different Words: 130 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.96 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.943 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.475 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.764 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.476 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.718 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.282 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4