can anyone please help me with editing my essay

Tash's picture

i have been submitting my academic task 1 essays, the e-grader keeps on giving me a 6.5. i don't know how to improve further. i do not understand what is required. kindly evaluate my essay.

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The illustration below shows the process of producing electricity using the geothermal energy.

Overall, the whole process takes place in five different steps. Its a man-made process having a linear cycle. The raw material required in it is the cold water, which is in turn converted into steam, in order to produce energy in the form of electricity.

First of all, the cold water is injected into a deep pitted well, known as the injection well, having a depth of approximately 4.5 km. At this point the water heats up using the heat from the hot rocks of geothermal zone. Following this, the hot water is pumped up through another well, known as the production well.

Furthermore, the hot water enters another chamber known as the condenser. Once the hot water enters the condenser, it converts into steam. Subsequently, the steam is then used to turn the turbines, which in-turn powers the generator and electricity is produced.

Comments

I saw this essay here:

https://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-ielts-academic-essays/diagr...

I think the main issue for this essay is:

Unique words: 101.0 106.607317073 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.537234042553 0.547539520022 98% => OK, but less than the average.

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for example, there are some words duplicated, look at 'the hot water enters':

Furthermore, the hot water enters another chamber known as the condenser. Once the hot water enters the condenser,