To be a doctor is not an easy task as this occupation can be a massive source of income which leads doctors to do profitable activities. Although some people contend that doctors must not take ample money for their patients’ heath, I believe that doctors must develop a balance between activities that service societies for free and gainful activities.
Physicians must help people to become healthier as part of their humanity service. In Indonesia, health cost is very expensive as many drugs and peripherals are imported from advanced countries. Doctors are able to reduce the cost by minimizing their fee. For example, physicians give free health consultation for poor people in a remote area once in a week which would certainly help impoverished people to gain better health.
On the other hand, humanity services can be so stressful that not every physician is able to deal with. In order to maintain their excellent services, they need a way to reduce the tension by having vacation or relax doing everything that they want. Some activities are free, such as sleeping or just sitting on a nice sofa. This, however, is not the case for other entertainments such as travelling and dangerous sports which are famous of their success to diminish stress. In this context, it is acceptable that some doctors take charges to their patients and even higher for rich patients.
To sum up, people expect doctors to concentrate on humanity rather than profit. This expectation must be balanced with an understanding that physicians are humans who need time and money to fulfill their life needs. As a return, doctors should appreciate people’s understanding by giving their best service to society.
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flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
What do you mean?
'Some activities are free, such as sleeping or just sitting on a nice sofa. This, however, is not the case for other entertainments such as travelling and dangerous sports which are famous of their success to diminish stress.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 280 350
No. of Characters: 1387 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.091 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.954 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.669 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.347 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.357 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5