WORLD OIL PRICES
I have been in Kampung Inggris Pare since beginning of November this year. The reason why I am here is to increase my English language skill. In Kampung Inggris Pare, I stay at camp with the other friends who have the same purpose with me. Everyday I always take a little time to cycling with my friends. That is why I know some short cut from my camp to the highway.
There is a river at village behind my camp. One day when I crossed the way above the river, I saw an unusual view. There is a big carcass chicken floated in the river and one man who wore a black shirt and hat is trying to reach that. I stopped for a while and saw clearly. Apparently there are many chicken with the same colour and kind around the river. On the leg of the chicken clinging label with initial ‘K’ letter. Just like the symbol at the man shirt.
After taking the big carcass chicken, the man sat on the grass and read a newspaper. The headline of that newspaper is talking about the Rising of World Oil Prices. Well, there is a big increasing price of petroleum and the other fuel oil for this lately week. The price of gasoline that just 4500 rupiahs per liter in the beginning, now become 7000 rupiahs per liter. Indonesia government cannot able to give a subside to their populate anymore because the increasing price from the oil supplier country is to high.
The increasing prices is caused by stock of raw oil that US had become thinner. That is happening it is because US keep making attacks to Syria and there is increasing level of violence in Egypt. That attack and violence caused disruption of oil shipments through the Suez Canal that linking Europe and the oil production country. UN keeps trying a thousand way to reconcile all sides. Meanwhile at the developing countries like Indonesia, this increasing oil price would make their economics level fall down.
Many companies or small business became a bankrupt because they could not longer pay the salary of their employee or finance to produce their product. That is what happen to the death chicken in the river. It husbandry could not pay for their livestock anymore. Their livestock did not feed up for almost a week. All of the husbandry employee had already fired. Now, there is an owner of the husbandry and his chickens that deliberately release in order to find their own food. He keep an eyes on them while occasionally taking the carcasses of his chickens that begin to die one by one.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2013-12-16 | Anisyah Surya | 85 | view |
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Sentence: Well, there is a big increasing price of petroleum and the other fuel oil for this lately week.
Description: The fragment this lately week is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace lately with adjective
Sentence: Indonesia government cannot able to give a subside to their populate anymore because the increasing price from the oil supplier country is to high.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to their and populate
Sentence: That is happening it is because US keep making attacks to Syria and there is increasing level of violence in Egypt.
Description: The fragment US keep making is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace keep with verb, past tense
make their economics level fall down.
Description: The fragment level fall down is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace fall with verb, past tense
Sentence: It husbandry could not pay for their livestock anymore.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to It and husbandry
Sentence: He keep an eyes on them while occasionally taking the carcasses of his chickens that begin to die one by one.
Description: The fragment He keep an is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace keep with verb, past tense
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.276 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.212 7.5
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.24 0.35
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 443 350
No. of Characters: 1963 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.588 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.431 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.297 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.276 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.212 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.172 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.24 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.46 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5