During the past year workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on the job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory but its work shifts are one hour short

Essay topics:

"During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."

The Argument here states that, the main reason behind the increase in the number of on-the-job accidents is because of the long shifts of the workers in the company factory. For the reasoning, the vice president of the company concludes that the near by company producing the same type of product has the shorter working shifts and due to that their on-the-job accidents are less than their own company. Adding to that he also states the workers might not be getting enough amount of rest due to the working hours in the company. I can find number of threshold flaws in the assumptions made by the company vice president.
First of all, the first fact stated here is that the company reported 30 percent more on-job accidents than before. It reminds me of several important questions that should be answered to conclude this particular fact. In which, what were the previous number of workers in the company? What were the previous number of accidents in the company? What are the number of workers in the Panoply industry? Is the production rate of both the companies nearly equal? Which machinery was used before and which one is being used now by the current workers in the production? These are the questions need to examined to conclude the fact.
What I would like to further add is more important than the previous one,which can be explained as on which basis the advice from the experts were used as the ultimate truth for the reasons of the on-job accidents. It should be thought of that what are the factors the experts considered while surveying or rather finding the flaws particularly. How much the experts should be trusted on what they have said? What could be the possible reasons behind saying this as an error for the production team? So, to add this as a fact and not a mere assumption more of the information is required to be taken in consideration.
Moreover, the workers routine outside the company premises should also plays a part in the on-job accidents. What are the things the worker does in his whole day? Does he gets enough amount of rest?It is also possible that if worker needs more money to take care of him and his family then he might be working on another part time job after this. By which he might not be getting enough amount of rest. One can also consider the amount of stress he might be going through because of the personal reasons. After considering all this we can conclude the above assumption true.
At the end, I would like to conclude that the assumption the vice president has made through several baseless points need more points and facts to be stated as a fact. There needs to some effective points behind the assumptions made, and for that the company should do different surveys, finding more different reasons which could be possibly playing a hand in this.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The Argument here states that, the main ...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 252, Rule ID: NEAR_BY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nearby'?
Suggestion: nearby
...ident of the company concludes that the near by company producing the same type of prod...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 607, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...These are the questions need to examined to conclude the fact. What I would li...
^^
Line 3, column 631, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...need to examined to conclude the fact. What I would like to further add is more...
^^^
Line 4, column 73, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
... is more important than the previous one,which can be explained as on which basis the ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 72, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'play'
Suggestion: play
...utside the company premises should also plays a part in the on-job accidents. What ar...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 171, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'get'?
Suggestion: get
...e worker does in his whole day? Does he gets enough amount of rest?It is also possib...
^^^^
Line 5, column 171, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'get'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: get
...e worker does in his whole day? Does he gets enough amount of rest?It is also possib...
^^^^
Line 5, column 198, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...day? Does he gets enough amount of rest?It is also possible that if worker needs m...
^^
Line 5, column 321, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ily then he might be working on another part time job after this. By which he might not b...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 505, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “After” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...hrough because of the personal reasons. After considering all this we can conclude th...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 367, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uld be possibly playing a hand in this.
^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'first', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'then', 'while', 'first of all']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.213883677298 0.25644967241 83% => OK
Verbs: 0.163227016886 0.15541462614 105% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0881801125704 0.0836205057962 105% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0393996247655 0.0520304965353 76% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0356472795497 0.0272364105082 131% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.140712945591 0.125424944231 112% => OK
Participles: 0.0544090056285 0.0416121511921 131% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.41875135694 2.79052419416 87% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0243902439024 0.026700313972 91% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.140712945591 0.113004496875 125% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.031894934334 0.0255425247493 125% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0300187617261 0.0127820249294 235% => Maybe 'Which' is overused. If other WH_determiners like 'Who, What, Whom, Whose...' are used too in sentences, then there are no issues.

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2830.0 2731.13054187 104% => OK
No of words: 495.0 446.07635468 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.71717171717 6.12365571057 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.57801047555 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.333333333333 0.378187486979 88% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.240404040404 0.287650121315 84% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.143434343434 0.208842608468 69% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0868686868687 0.135150697306 64% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41875135694 2.79052419416 87% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 207.018472906 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426262626263 0.469332199767 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 48.1823722181 52.1807786196 92% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.039408867 125% => OK
Sentence length: 19.8 23.2022227129 85% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.4033107588 57.7814097925 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.2 141.986410481 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8 23.2022227129 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.32 0.724660767414 44% => More Discourse Markers wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 3.58251231527 335% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 43.8404040404 51.9672348444 84% => OK
Elegance: 1.71653543307 1.8405768891 93% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24723500331 0.441005458295 56% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.189333515726 0.135418324435 140% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.167665158227 0.0829849096947 202% => Ideas in sentences are similar.
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.592323715255 0.58762219726 101% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.158588086176 0.147661913831 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109677570849 0.193483328276 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0599624195525 0.0970749176394 62% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.512200514961 0.42659136922 120% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.158331840027 0.0774707102158 204% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17383380201 0.312017818177 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0349694340522 0.0698173142475 50% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.33743842365 120% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.82512315271 166% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.82389162562 212% => OK
Total topic words: 22.0 14.657635468 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.