The following appeared in a health magazine. (144, 151)
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
In this health magazine, the author claims that it is clear that the citizens of D city have adopted more healthful lifestyles. To support her argument, she cites a survey which indicates that their eating habits follows the government nutritional recommendations. And she cites sales reports which show increasing sales of Kiran, the substance which is proved to reduce cholesterol level and decreasing sales of sulla, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat. Careful scrutiny reveals that this argument has several logical flaws.
To begin with, based on the fact that many citizens more observe the government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago, the author hastily assumes that the the people who follow the government nutritional recommendation must be healthy. However it could not be true. Common sense tells us that people's health are affected by not only diet but many factors such as genetic trait or environment. And each people have their proper criterion to eat daily. Until she explains why the government nutritional recommendation can represent people's health state, this argument is not cogent.
Secondly, based on the fact that the sales of food product which contains Kiran, which reduce level of cholesterol in body increased, she assumes that try to eat good nutritional food can shows that people are actually healthy. However, it could not be true. For example, ironically, people eat nutritionally good food product when they are sick or their body state is not good. If this is true, we cannot convinced by this argument.
Finally, based on the fact that the sales of food product which contains sulla, which the most healthy people in the city do not eat decrease, she assumes that the level of consuming of a food can show its effect to damage. However, this could not be true. For example, some food products such as wild ginseng is very good for health. But because of rarity and high price of it, very few people can buy the food. Then, can we say wild ginseng is not good for health? Answer is no. If she cannot rule this problem, this argument is groundless.
To summarize, this argument is still dubious as it stands. To make this argument more persuasive, the author have to give exact data about the effect of food products which contain sulla and have to explain why she thinks eating food products which contain Kiran can indicate that the consumer is robust. To evaluate better, we have to know that whether following the government nutritional recommends can result people's health and the recommends are proper to all people.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 436 350
No. of Characters: 2119 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.57 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.86 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.517 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.923 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 170, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...rs ago, the author hastily assumes that the the people who follow the government nutrit...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 170, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...rs ago, the author hastily assumes that the the people who follow the government nutrit...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 255, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...itional recommendation must be healthy. However it could not be true. Common sense tell...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 134, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... level of cholesterol in body increased, she assumes that try to eat good nutriti...
^^
Line 5, column 190, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'show'
Suggestion: show
...at try to eat good nutritional food can shows that people are actually healthy. Howev...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 544, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s problem, this argument is groundless. To summarize, this argument is still dub...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 306, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n indicate that the consumer is robust. To evaluate better, we have to know that w...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, however, if, second, secondly, so, still, then, for example, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 26.0 13.6137724551 191% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 28.8173652695 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2180.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 436.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59384099555 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45871559633 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 657.0 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 74.4620784978 57.8364921388 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.7826086957 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9565217391 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.65217391304 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.228344855025 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0709042360284 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0857603736754 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15409989433 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0826002942709 0.0628817314937 131% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.