The following appeared in a health magazine."The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they

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The following appeared in a health magazine.

"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The text which was taken from a health magazine maintains that the residents of Forsythe have adhered to more healthy lifestyle. This conclusion is buttressed by some evidences; however, does the argument's originator manage to create a strong and convincing argument? To answer on this question we need to take closer look at the evidences.

The central evidence of this argument is the result of two researches. The first study was conducted ten years ago, and the second one has been finshed recently. These studies demonstrate that local residents adhere to more healthy eating habits which are closer to government's recommendations today that they were ten years ago. Although the writer of the argument asserts that these result undoubtedly support his conclusion, perhaps some other factors may impact on the studies' results. First of all, the nutritional recommendations may be changed since the first study was conducted. In this case, the citizens of Forsythe may not alter their habits but the second study with new criteria may demonstrates the improvement. The argument could have been stronger had the author given us information that government's recommendation has not been changed since the first study was finished. Till we are not told this information, the usage of the result of the researches by the author is unreasonble.

Additionally to it, we know that the sales of products which contain kiran, has enhanced four times. Kiran is well-known for its possibility to reduces cholesterol. However, is the high level of cholesterol the problem of local residents. Perhapse, the local dwellers have problem with lack of vitamins and nutricians rather then with cholesterol. If the health problems of residents of Forsythe are not caused by cholesterol, the increase of its consumption will not improve health conditions of them. To make the argument stronger, the author may give us the data which conform that the high level of cholesterol is a grave problem of local people.

Besides, the sales of sulia, the food which rearely consumed by the most healthy local residents has declined. The author assumes that local people avoid buying unhealthy food, but the probability exists that for instance, the cost of sulia has skyrocketed recently, and it is the reason of the decline. Consequently, the author's usage of this evidence is not warranted.

In conclusion, the argument claims that local citizens of Forsythe has adopted more healthful lifestiles, unfortunately, given by the author information has failed to support it properly. In fact, the researches may be affected by some factors which invalied their result.

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Average: 9.3 (3 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: Besides, the sales of sulia, the food which rearely consumed by the most healthy local residents has declined.
Error: rearely Suggestion: rarely

Sentence: In conclusion, the argument claims that local citizens of Forsythe has adopted more healthful lifestiles, unfortunately, given by the author information has failed to support it properly.
Error: lifestiles Suggestion: lifestyles

Sentence: In fact, the researches may be affected by some factors which invalied their result.
Error: invalied Suggestion: invalid

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argument 1 -- OK, also whether people doing two surveys are same people.

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 422 350
No. of Characters: 2174 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.532 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.152 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.798 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.102 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5