The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memo, the owner of a chain of cheese stores concludes that the new store showed that people were enjoying cheddar cheese more than any other imported one's. Perhaps, recommends that the stores should stop stocking up any other variety of cheeses in order to gain profit by fundamentally concentrating on domestic cheeses. However, the owner supports his conclusion with three assumptions that, if not substantiated, dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument.
First of all, the owner presumes that the five best-selling cheeses in their newest store can be considered as a gauge to measure the popularity and potential buyer of that cheese. Further, no sufficient information is provided on how the five best cheeses were analysed and selected. There lies a chance that this data maybe invalid as it is taking into consideration only one stores sales and only a years sales record. People might have bought domestic cheeses because they were on sale or at lower prices but it doen't provide assurance that they might be interested in buying local cheeses in the future over any other imported cheeses. The sales result collected were only from one store completely ignoring other store's sales records which makes it more uncertain and unreliable. If either of these cases are true, then the owner's conclusion of not considering other variety of cheeses in stores holds no water.
Secondly, the owner supports his claim by providing results from a Cheeses of the World magazine that states an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. This might be true but there is no evidence provided on how many people participated in this survey, what kind of questions were asked in this survey also were there options provided to participants other than domestic cheeses to choose from. There lies a possibility that only 20 subscribers participated in the quiz and were biased about choosing the domestic cheese brands over the imported one's. It might also be the case that these survey participants only stayed in particular area where the newly opened store is situated and making the results even more critical to consider. If either of these cases are true, then the owners suggestion of not stocking other cheeses and relying on this survey can undermine his conclusion.
Finally, the owner has states that reducing the inventory expenses can lead to profit as they will be primarily focusing only on stocking domestic cheeses. This can be thought of as a sound solution but it isn't, as there is possibility that the demand of people change and they might be interested in buying more imported cheeses than the native one's. There is also possibility that customers shop from other stores as they might provide them with variety of cheeses than the owners stores which will eventually lead to loss. If this turns out to be true the onwers claim may lead to stores loss than a profit.
In conlusion, the owner's claims that they should stop stocking up on imported cheeses which might lower their inventory expenses. However, as it stands now, the argument relies on three unfounded assumptions that render its conclusion unpersuasive at best and specious at worst. The owner needs to provide more data on how best selling cheeses were determined, also how the surveys were consducted and lastly on how the cutting down expenses on storing imported cheese assures profit.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 19 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 564 350
No. of Characters: 2809 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.873 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.98 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.576 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 201 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.952 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.362 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 400, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a year' or simply 'years'?
Suggestion: a year; years
...deration only one stores sales and only a years sales record. People might have bought ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 830, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'owners'' or 'owner's'?
Suggestion: owners'; owner's
...ither of these cases are true, then the owners conclusion of not considering other var...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 66, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a cheese' or simply 'Cheeses'?
Suggestion: a cheese; Cheeses
...rts his claim by providing results from a Cheeses of the World magazine that states an i...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ding results from a Cheeses of the World magazine that states an increasing prefe...
^^
Line 3, column 183, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...stic cheeses among its subscribers. This might be true but there is no evidence p...
^^
Line 3, column 808, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'owners'' or 'owner's'?
Suggestion: owners'; owner's
...ither of these cases are true, then the owners suggestion of not stocking other cheese...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 160, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... only on stocking domestic cheeses. This can be thought of as a sound solution bu...
^^
Line 4, column 207, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...e thought of as a sound solution but it isnt, as there is possibility that the dema...
^^^^
Line 4, column 212, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ught of as a sound solution but it isnt, as there is possibility that the demand ...
^^
Line 4, column 528, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...res which will eventually lead to loss. If this turns out to be true the onwers cl...
^^
Line 4, column 577, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...urns out to be true the onwers claim may lead to stores loss than a profit. In c...
^^
Line 4, column 587, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'store'.
Suggestion: store
...o be true the onwers claim may lead to stores loss than a profit. In conlusion, the ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, in particular, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2849.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 562.0 441.139720559 127% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06939501779 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86893614481 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61643112027 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.430604982206 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 893.7 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.8650152618 57.8364921388 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.666666667 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7619047619 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.57142857143 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.293803991659 0.218282227539 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0995734647732 0.0743258471296 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0599760050752 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181503312438 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0450288001233 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.