The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memo from the vice president, it is stated that the percentage of job accidents are more at work when the work-hours are more when compared to a nearby factory. The vice president argues that the reducing one hour from each shift will significantly reduce the work related haphazard as the employees will receive proper rest. However, before this recommendation is properly evaluated, two questions need to be answered.
First of all, when comparing with another company, we must check the similarities between both the companies. The experts may have overlooked on keen facts and differences between the companies. Panoply industries may have used better equipment which may be automated, therefore man power required may be less. machines lead to less work place accidents, so a comparison between the two companies is not an ideal one to begin with. A company using more machinery needs less man force and hence can be subject to less workspace accidents. this would also explain why they have an hour less of labour time. Reduction of work time after comparison with another company is not viable as profit margins may be affected due to this drastic change in work hours.
Secondly, are the qualifications of the workers factored in ? there is no information on which department of the company is causing accidents more. Blue collar workers are more prone to cause accidents due to fatigue than their white-collar counterparts. Even if reducing time was to be considered only manual labour would be affected as they are the ones dealing with labour intensive tasks which are more prone to hazards. Further there is no information on the machinery used in the company. Major mistakes often happen due to faulty machines which can be avoided by upgrading them. this will also help reduce labour time and increase and can lead to a significant increase in profits
In conclusion, the argument as it stands is considerably flawed due to the reliance on unwarranted information assumptions. if the author is able to answer the above questions then and only then can this recommendation considered as a viable alternative.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1747 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.977 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.772 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.331 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In the memo from the vice president, it ...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., two questions need to be answered. First of all, when comparing with anothe...
^^^
Line 3, column 315, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Machines
...erefore man power required may be less. machines lead to less work place accidents, so a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 542, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...be subject to less workspace accidents. this would also explain why they have an hou...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o this drastic change in work hours. Secondly, are the qualifications of the ...
^^^
Line 5, column 67, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...fications of the workers factored in ? there is no information on which department o...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 591, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...which can be avoided by upgrading them. this will also help reduce labour time and i...
^^^^
Line 7, column 125, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...on unwarranted information assumptions. if the author is able to answer the above ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, as to, in conclusion, first of all, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1786.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 351.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08831908832 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85016107092 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.535612535613 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 570.6 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.6820357157 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.2222222222 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135700293986 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.040761213314 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0575030733344 0.0701772020484 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0831010229829 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0796914948042 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.