According to the statement, it is strongly recommended by the author that the Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents who want to let their children learn music. In order to support the suggestion, the author shows us there are several merits in this school. Firstly, it is available for kids at all ability and ages levels; secondly, almost every kind of musical instruments ranging from classical to rock can be taught in this school; moreover, the tutors are famous in the musical area. Hence this recommendation seems to be plausible, while there are some loopholes in it, we should evaluate them carefully.
To begin with, the author tells us the students who about to go to this school can be enrolled in a very wide range, no matter where their levels of musical ability is and how old they are. Without showing the exceptional teaching ability, whether the teachers in this school the kids with different level in music and age is still in question. Maybe there are few teachers while they have to teach so many kids ranging from beginners to professional ones.
In addition, the author also argues that the nearly comprehensive instruments in music can be taught in this school which used in various genres. Firstly, the resource of teachers is still the major problem as one teacher may play different kinds of instruments from guitar to piano while in front of various kids, I believe it is a tough work for him. Secondly, due to the name of the school, Mozart School, whether it is necessary to teach rock music is problematic, it brings to the parents some kind of unsuitable feeling if they want to bring their kids here to learn classical music.
Moreover, the ability of the teachers in this school is still confusing us. In that despite of the evidence that there are some distinguished musicians in the faculty, the first question is do they teach lessons or they are just as members of leadership in this school? Although they will have lessons to the kids, so can they teach all of the lesson cites by the author ranging from classical and rock? Beside the range, whether a famous musician can take equal high quality lesson is still in questions, maybe they are merely distinguished people in musical area. Let alone if they are just in the leaderships who are take by the author as advertisements.
Finally, given that lots of graduates in this school became famous musicians, this point is also problematic for that how many of them from the beginning of the school to date? Maybe there are few famous graduates while this school has opened for decades. On the other hand, the author does not recognize that the goal of the parents who want their kids to learn music. Because some of them merely want to form a hobby to their kids, so not all of them want to their kids to be famous in this area.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2289 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.56 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.398 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.762 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.947 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 513, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... tutors are famous in the musical area. Hence this recommendation seems to be plausib...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 191, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'done'.
Suggestion: done
...s in the faculty, the first question is do they teach lessons or they are just as ...
^^
Line 7, column 334, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... lessons to the kids, so can they teach all of the lesson cites by the author ranging from...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 613, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...one if they are just in the leaderships who are take by the author as advertisements. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, while, in addition, kind of, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 28.8173652695 174% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2354.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68924302789 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47766486702 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.422310756972 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 718.2 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.061594829 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.894736842 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4210526316 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.73684210526 5.70786347227 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.310995387193 0.218282227539 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109531425346 0.0743258471296 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0978289294931 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202053154512 0.128457276422 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0970818601001 0.0628817314937 154% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.01 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.