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The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situ

Essay topics: The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.

"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

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In the letter, the author adduces recent studies of rhesus monkeys and observations in human to substantiate the point that birth order can affect an individual\'s levels of stimulation. While this point of view may sound plausible at first, a closer review brings about other probable interpretations of the experiment results, which definitely undermine the author's explanations.

To begin with, the author claims that firstborn infant monkeys generate twice as much of cortisol than their younger siblings facing stimuli. Nonetheless, the impact of age cannot be ruled out here. It is likely that the firstborn monkeys produce more hormone simply because they are older and more mature. If this were the case, the differences between amount of hormone cortisol produced would be a function of age, but has little to do with the birth order of monkeys. What is more, how the experiment was carried out remains elusive. May be the levels of stimulation of firstborn monkeys were measured in the presence of their younger siblings, so their behavior is, in fact, affected by other younger monkeys nearby, instead of being determined by the birth order.

Additionally, the observation of similar phenomena in human also needs to be viewed with caution. Although human and rhesus share similarities in many ways, they can be strikingly different. If the obversed behavior in human resultes from the language communication between parents and children, which the monkeys lack, then it would be too reckless for the author to see it as an effect of the birth order.

Last but not least, the author fails to articulate clearly the relationship between the levels of stimulation of offsprings and the higher cortisol concentration in blood of first-mothers. For instance, may be firstborn individuals produce more cortisol under stimulations simply because of the influence their mothers, who were first-time mother, and this effect can fade as they grow older. Therefore, the levels of stimulations may not be correlated to birth order at all, and what the author observed is only the short-term influence from first-mothers.

In sum, in the letter an experiment on rhesus monkeys and observations on human are briefly described, but the conclusion drew by the author is not supported by the evidence. There are many possible explanations which also fit well with the phenomena, and these alternative interpretations pose a great challenge to the author's theory unless more ditails about the experiment can be provided.

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Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 543, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...nt was carried out remains elusive. May be the levels of stimulation of firstborn ...
^^
Line 3, column 680, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...siblings, so their behavior is, in fact, affected by other younger monkeys nearby...
^^
Line 9, column 321, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...retations pose a great challenge to the authors theory unless more ditails about the ex...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, first, if, may, nonetheless, so, then, therefore, well, while, for instance, in fact, to begin with, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2127.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 401.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3042394015 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94886910629 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511221945137 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 652.5 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.471057884232 637% => Less interrogative sentences wanted.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5154436261 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.9375 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0625 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.3125 5.70786347227 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.161164413947 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0593205039976 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0808221966351 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0996195459565 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0486174389246 0.0628817314937 77% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.93 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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