The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava. "The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students e

Essay topics: The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.

"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Minh Giang Nguyen's picture

The recommendation of the committee which indicates that because of the decrease of birthrate in the city of Calatrava, the city should reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities and use the sufficient money for adult facilities and program provides interesting clues, but to move forward on the recommendation would definitely require more information and thought. Moreover, the argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to lead to the conclusion.

To begin with, base on the fact that the declination of the birthrate in the city, the author of the argument implies that the number of students enrolled in city’s public school will soon decrease significantly. However, he/she fails to justify this reason. For example, the number of emigrants who move to the city increase dramatically. Moreover, there are a lot of children in the emigrants. Thus, maybe the number of students enrolled in city’s public schools will increase even though last year’s birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. And it may be a big mistake that the decrease funding for athletic playing fields and other entertainment facilities of the city. Unless the information about number of students enrolled in city’s public schools is fully representation, valid and reliable, it cannot be used to reinforce the author’s argument.

Additionally, the argument implies that the city should invest more money in adult facilities and programs because the author believes that the adult population of the city will increase. It is not clear, however, the expectation of the author. I mean why does the author think that the adult population will increase while the last year’s birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago? that the birthrate decline lead to the number of adult in the future will decrease. Furthermore, suppose that the expectation of the author is true because other factors like the increase in the number of emigrants who move to the city. Nevertheless, the argument does not indicate any information or statistic which can prove that the adult population of the city will increase. To strengthen his/her suggestion, the author should implement more information about adult population.

In conclusion, this argument is neither apparent nor convincing since it leaves out several angles and factors. I strongly believe that if the argument included the factors discussed above, the argument would have been more plausible and convincing.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
This essay topic by other users:
Post date Users Rates More about the essay
10 months 1 week ago evanlu 48 Read full essay
3 years 2 months ago Minh Giang Nguyen 50 Read full essay
7 years 3 months ago shefali saxena 62.5 Read full essay
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 892, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o reinforce the author's argument. Additionally, the argument implies that ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 398, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...s only one-half that of five years ago? that the birthrate decline lead to the numbe...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'nevertheless', 'so', 'then', 'thus', 'while', 'for example', 'i mean', 'in conclusion', 'to begin with']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.268398268398 0.25644967241 105% => OK
Verbs: 0.112554112554 0.15541462614 72% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0692640692641 0.0836205057962 83% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0584415584416 0.0520304965353 112% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0151515151515 0.0272364105082 56% => OK
Prepositions: 0.134199134199 0.125424944231 107% => OK
Participles: 0.012987012987 0.0416121511921 31% => Some participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.95897664562 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Infinitives: 0.021645021645 0.026700313972 81% => OK
Particles: 0.0021645021645 0.001811407834 119% => OK
Determiners: 0.119047619048 0.113004496875 105% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.030303030303 0.0255425247493 119% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0108225108225 0.0127820249294 85% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2552.0 2731.13054187 93% => OK
No of words: 398.0 446.07635468 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.41206030151 6.12365571057 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.57801047555 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.404522613065 0.378187486979 107% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.319095477387 0.287650121315 111% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.253768844221 0.208842608468 122% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.160804020101 0.135150697306 119% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95897664562 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 207.018472906 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.44472361809 0.469332199767 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 47.1573685747 52.1807786196 90% => OK
How many sentences: 18.0 20.039408867 90% => OK
Sentence length: 22.1111111111 23.2022227129 95% => OK
Sentence length SD: 78.9042238617 57.7814097925 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.777777778 141.986410481 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1111111111 23.2022227129 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.833333333333 0.724660767414 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.14285714286 78% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.58251231527 56% => OK
Readability: 54.0206588498 51.9672348444 104% => OK
Elegance: 2.23255813953 1.8405768891 121% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.594181369542 0.441005458295 135% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.14800727859 0.135418324435 109% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0831981190166 0.0829849096947 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.636763475856 0.58762219726 108% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.18271483782 0.147661913831 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.28282708663 0.193483328276 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.157757834821 0.0970749176394 163% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.535505352118 0.42659136922 126% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.163653463462 0.0774707102158 211% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.411746565299 0.312017818177 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.173271372864 0.0698173142475 248% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.33743842365 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.87684729064 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.82512315271 21% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 9.0 6.46551724138 139% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.82389162562 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 16.0 14.657635468 109% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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