An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
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Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The conclusion that it is paramount that the government of Tagus, for the health of its citizens, adopt the proposal by the international development organization to make accessible newly created strain of millet that would provide the nourishment it's people really need, is made within the statement. The author's main reason for proposing this to the government is that the people and the farmers in the land have a predilection for millet as a food source and so the direct investment in this new variant would prove beneficial to the people and therefore the government. While this might sound logical to the layman, the recommendation needs to be properly evaluated to assertain its promise, few questions have to be answered.
Firstly, is the newly concocted millet variant similar to the 'normal' millet strain in all other aspects apart from the nutritional value of the added vitamin A? the question at hand here is, while this new seed might contain more nutrition, we do not have information about its taste, its storage length etc. Is it possible that the people of Tagus might reject this new millet due so its undisclosed shortcomings. If this new millet and the various dishes that can be made from it doesn't taste exactly like, the staple product the people are used to this could lead to people abandoning their meals, meals meant to make them healthier, therefore tarnishing the goal of the organization. Hence its only logical that more on-the-ground analysis of the reception of this new millet variant be embarked on and reported for a more wholistice view/recommendation.
Further, the proposal doesn't;t mention the make up of the type of soil that would be needed to grow this variant. It can comfortably be assumed that the people of Tagus have been farming the 'normal millet' for a long time as its implied given the statement: "SAince millet is already a staple food in Tagus...", this means that the 'normal' millet grows well on Tagus land, however the recommendation brought forward doesn't give ligth to the composition of soil and climate that would be beneficial for this new variant. Perhaps the government plays along, the farmers also play along and when harvest time arrives the crops have not developed as they might have un the lab-0setting they were developed in. A trial run, using soil with exact soil composition found in all areas of Tagus should be undertaken and the findings reported, because if the above empirical test results in bad crops and a bad yield then the recommendation does not hold water.
It is clear that the underlying issue in Tagus is the lack of a great source for vitamin A for the citizens, and it is also clear that this proposal is likely to set the government to Tagus back a substantial amount, Perhaps there is another way?, Is it possible that another proposal different in manner of execution and less expensive is out there? Beacuse this would mean that the recommendation put forward to the government to tagus is, in fact, less beneficial to the people of ttagus in the long run, since it is their taxes that run the government. If this scenario drawn is true then the original argument by the author is significantly weakend.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is considerably flawed and due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions, if the author is able to answer the three questions above and offer more evidence ( perhaps in the form of a systematic and robust research study) then it would be possible to evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation invest in this newly engineered millet variant for the betterment of the people of Tagus.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 18 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 624 350
No. of Characters: 2973 1500
No. of Different Words: 270 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.998 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.764 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.706 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 44.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.585 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.929 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.618 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 74, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nt that the government of Tagus, for the health of its citizens, adopt the propos...
^^
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...tritional value of the added vitamin A? the question at hand here is, while this ne...
^^^
Line 3, column 483, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...various dishes that can be made from it doesnt taste exactly like, the staple product ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 689, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...arnishing the goal of the organization. Hence its only logical that more on-the-groun...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 23, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ecommendation. Further, the proposal doesnt;t mention the make up of the type of so...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 425, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ever the recommendation brought forward doesnt give ligth to the composition of soil a...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 948, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d yield then the recommendation does not hold water. It is clear that the unde...
^^
Line 7, column 558, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...is their taxes that run the government. If this scenario drawn is true then the or...
^^
Line 9, column 210, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... questions above and offer more evidence perhaps in the form of a systematic and ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, really, so, then, therefore, well, while, apart from, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 28.8173652695 194% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 34.0 16.3942115768 207% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3047.0 2260.96107784 135% => OK
No of words: 619.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.92245557351 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98795655647 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83680600264 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 204.123752495 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.449111470113 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 939.6 705.55239521 133% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 38.0 22.8473053892 166% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 104.10374558 57.8364921388 180% => OK
Chars per sentence: 190.4375 119.503703932 159% => OK
Words per sentence: 38.6875 23.324526521 166% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.375 5.70786347227 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.325146097122 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.115461885742 0.0743258471296 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0603756948653 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188688904937 0.128457276422 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0688696370024 0.0628817314937 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 21.1 14.3799401198 147% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.37 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.9 12.197005988 139% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.2 11.1389221557 154% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 11.9071856287 143% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.