"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
The president of Humana University has recommended to increase enrollment of online classes to solve budget deficits by initiating online degree programs like Omni University. However, the argument provided by the precident bears unwarranted assumptions which need to address before making any significant change.
The first assumption the author has made is that the Omni University has increase online degree programs and during the same year, the significant decrease from expenditure for classroom space in the university has co-relation. The author didn't mention any statistics for how significant the decrease in the expenditure was. Also, no evidence has been provided to varify that this decrease in expenditure is because of online classes. What if Omni University has made some new improvement in the management and cut off unnecessary expenses or reduce pay for their teachers or anything similar to that which results into decrease in overall expenditure. The author should provide evidence to make this argument stronger rather then just making a conjecture.
The author stated that the online degree programs has been incresed by 50 percent in Omni University. However, we cannot rely on this statistics as 50 percent fail to give an exact figure of online programs. Also, the author believed that the same changes imposes into Humana University will help in budget deficits. However, the president is short-sighted here as he guessed that the professors of Hamana University is capable of taking online course. What if the University will need to hire new teachers or professors. Then the main purpose would be fail as the University has to make other financial expenses.
Another assumption is that the increase in the cost of maintaining building will be served by online programs. Even after intiating online programs, the University has to take care of its building. The author didn't mention any further details about how many online programs would be there. If there will be few online course then the building would be still in use and the maintanance cost will still remain as it is.
All in all. the president has made many assumptions in the memorandum which have been justified, and therefore the author must provide concrete probe to recommend that the promoting online programs will attract students to enroll into Humana University. Also, the author requires to provide convining statistics on how the budget deficiency will be improvised.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 2043 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.185 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.736 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.468 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.427 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 240, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... university has co-relation. The author didnt mention any statistics for how signific...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 640, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t which results into decrease in overall expenditure. The author should provide e...
^^
Line 2, column 728, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
Suggestion: than
...e to make this argument stronger rather then just making a conjecture. The author s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 129, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... University. However, we cannot rely on this statistics as 50 percent fail to give a...
^^^^
Line 3, column 509, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ersity will need to hire new teachers or professors. Then the main purpose would ...
^^
Line 6, column 210, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...o take care of its building. The author didnt mention any further details about how m...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 13, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...ll still remain as it is. All in all. the president has made many assumptions in ...
^^^
Line 7, column 281, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'providing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: providing
...a University. Also, the author requires to provide convining statistics on how the budget ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, so, still, then, therefore, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2086.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32142857143 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79028928352 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.464285714286 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 681.3 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.0870594505 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.3 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.95 5.70786347227 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.265556831663 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0821899260358 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.11009475791 0.0701772020484 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145508810784 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0921678486326 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.3550499002 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.