"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent.
During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because online instruction takes place via the Internet.
In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased.
Thus, to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni."
The argument claims that online degree programs declines expenditures of an university. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The author have come to this conclusion based on the premise that Omni University declined its expenditures for dormitory and classroom space by offering more online degree programs. The relies on assumptions, for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing, and has several flaws.
First of all, the argument readily assumes that Humana University and Omni University are similar kind of universities. However, this not might be the case. Perhaps Humana University is in a location where cost of living and other expenditures are low . As a result, student tends to enroll on-campus programs rather than online programs. Furthermore, the omni university may have higher ranking than the Humana university. If either of these has merit, then the conclusion drawn from the original argument is significantly weakened.
Second, the argument claims that online degree programs increases student enrollments. This is again a very weak and unsupported claim as the argument doesn't demonstrate
any correlation between enrollments and number of online degrees offered. For instance, the students are willing to take on-campus programs to expose themselves to college environment and make new friends. If the argument had provided evidence that why students are showing interest in online degree programs, then it would have been a lot more convincing to the reader.
Finally, the author assumes that online enrollments are the only solution for budget deficits at Humana University . However, careful scrutiny of evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the author's conclusion in several critical respects, and raises several skeptical questions. For example, How can a program with less tuition fees when compared to on-campus programs decreases the expenditure? Without convincing answers to these questions, the reader is left with the impression that claims made by author are more of a wishful thinking rather that substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the author’s argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the author must provide clear concrete evidence, perhaps by way of a reliable survey analysis of how online degree programs declines the expenditures of an University. Finally, to better assess the argument, it would be necessary to know more information about why universities should promote online degrees.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 399 350
No. of Characters: 2154 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.469 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.398 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.789 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 190 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.136 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.737 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 74, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...egree programs declines expenditures of an university. Stated in this way the argu...
^^
Line 3, column 252, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...of living and other expenditures are low . As a result, student tends to enroll on...
^^
Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...k and unsupported claim as the argument doesnt demonstrate any correlation between en...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 115, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...for budget deficits at Humana University . However, careful scrutiny of evidence r...
^^
Line 8, column 213, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...rovides little credible support for the authors conclusion in several critical respects...
^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 244, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...e programs declines the expenditures of an University. Finally, to better assess t...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2218.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 398.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.57286432161 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9094673052 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525125628141 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 709.2 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.6688430273 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.818181818 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0909090909 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.90909090909 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.229121089405 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.069794173858 0.0743258471296 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0588617673873 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123260807413 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0366605807389 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.28 48.3550499002 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.73 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.05 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.