Studies show that, as we’ve become more technically advanced, our health has deteriorated rapidly. Heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and virtually every major ailment are far more common today than they were thirty years ago. The primary reason for this deterioration is the sedentary lifestyle associated with today’s high-tech jobs. Clearly, our health will continue to decline as long as we persist in our technological advances.
The author claims that our health will continue to decline as long as we persist in our technological advances but the argument is not well supported by the evidence.
Citing the studies the author says that as technology advanced, our health has deteriorated rapidly which is completely untrue. For example with the advancement in laser technology lasers are being used to break down stones in gall bladder. Lasers are also used for treatment of glaucoma. If technology is not advanced we wouldn’t have medicines to cure diseases. The experiment may have been conducted by taking into opinions of people who are aged and suffering with diseases which are not yet curable.
While heart disease, cancer are common now than thirty years ago advancement in technology has nothing to do with the increase. In fact it is with the advancement in technology patients suffering with diabetes, heart disease are getting proper treatment. By testing the sugar levels with modern equipment suitable amount of insulin is being given. Thirty years ago did we have proper equipment which is necessary for heart surgery. Today we can send camera to the site of surgery and can view the operation live on a television. Did we have Electrocardiogram to check the condition of patients heart thirty years ago?
The author’s assumption that health is being deteriorated because of lifestyle and with high tech jobs is not true. People working in high tech jobs are earning more now than 30 years ago and can afford the cost of treatment. With their increased incomes people are living in a clean & tidy environment without which they may be prone to diseases like malaria, dengue. Health condition generally deteriorates as ones age increases and need not be due to lifestyle.
The authors argument is not convincing because he/she committed analogy , statistical flaws.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 418, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...lth condition generally deteriorates as ones age increases and need not be due to li...
^^^^
Line 9, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...nd need not be due to lifestyle. The authors argument is not convincing because he/s...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 72, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...vincing because he/she committed analogy , statistical flaws.
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'well', 'while', 'for example', 'in fact']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.275449101796 0.25644967241 107% => OK
Verbs: 0.203592814371 0.15541462614 131% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0568862275449 0.0836205057962 68% => OK
Adverbs: 0.062874251497 0.0520304965353 121% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0329341317365 0.0272364105082 121% => OK
Prepositions: 0.137724550898 0.125424944231 110% => OK
Participles: 0.0688622754491 0.0416121511921 165% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.82577684557 2.79052419416 101% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0239520958084 0.026700313972 90% => OK
Particles: 0.00299401197605 0.001811407834 165% => OK
Determiners: 0.0538922155689 0.113004496875 48% => Some determiners wanted.
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0209580838323 0.0255425247493 82% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0149700598802 0.0127820249294 117% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1878.0 2731.13054187 69% => OK
No of words: 305.0 446.07635468 68% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.15737704918 6.12365571057 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17902490978 4.57801047555 91% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.380327868852 0.378187486979 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.27868852459 0.287650121315 97% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.209836065574 0.208842608468 100% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.15737704918 0.135150697306 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82577684557 2.79052419416 101% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 207.018472906 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.55737704918 0.469332199767 119% => OK
Word variations: 58.7953418356 52.1807786196 113% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 20.039408867 85% => OK
Sentence length: 17.9411764706 23.2022227129 77% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.6531908093 57.7814097925 48% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.470588235 141.986410481 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9411764706 23.2022227129 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.529411764706 0.724660767414 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.58251231527 84% => OK
Readability: 45.8100289296 51.9672348444 88% => OK
Elegance: 1.61 1.8405768891 87% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.273465789218 0.441005458295 62% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.130923887684 0.135418324435 97% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0999261785376 0.0829849096947 120% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.528927370486 0.58762219726 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.184130692078 0.147661913831 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102230614372 0.193483328276 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0638709820234 0.0970749176394 66% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.246336733447 0.42659136922 58% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0901544026978 0.0774707102158 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1473255454 0.312017818177 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0672048371826 0.0698173142475 96% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.33743842365 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.82512315271 166% => OK
Positive topic words: 2.0 6.46551724138 31% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 5.36822660099 112% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.82389162562 212% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 14.657635468 96% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.