We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in
business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base
because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the
café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the
children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent
national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under
age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete
with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café.
In the passage the business manager of Monarch Books proposes to replace their children’s book section with a café to prevent the competitor from entering the market in Collegeville. In order to provide strength to his argument the manager needs to provide more evidence that by opening café in their store will help to ward off Book and Bean from opening. The arguments proposed by the manager in the passage are questionable and lack logic.
Firstly, the manager mentions that Book and Bean have already planned to open their store. Supposedly they must have done thorough research and then planned to open the book store. Thus manager’s assumption that opening a café will stop Book and Bean from opening are wrong. Even if Monarch Book open café then there is no guarantee that competitors will change their plan.
Secondly, as mentioned Monarch Books have established a strong customer base over 20 years. It might be possible that most of the customers visit the store with children under 10 because of the children’s book section. So on removing the children section might refrain the customers from visiting the store. Also it is not mentioned by the business manager that Book and Bean store will be opening a children section or not. If they do not have a children section then Monarch Books might be more profited and even Book and Bean has a children section there is no guarantee that they will visit there or not.
Thirdly, the author has mentioned national survey, but the results of survey can vary for Collegeville. It has not been mentioned by the author that of which states the national survey was taken. It can be a survey of any X, Y and Z states and the decline must have occurred there. It is also possible that there might be a increase in population of children below 10 in Collegeville. Also there is a possibility that customers may like the ambience of the Monarch Books. By introducing café, it is possible that people may not like the new ambience.
Hence, the business manager of Monarch Books needs to more analysis of the situation and provide more evidence supporting his argument. The argument he proposed has many flaws and is not valid.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 182, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...nd then planned to open the book store. Thus manager's assumption that opening ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 281, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...p Book and Bean from opening are wrong. Even if Monarch Book open café then there is no...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 314, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... the customers from visiting the store. Also it is not mentioned by the business man...
^^^^
Line 7, column 283, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...d the decline must have occurred there. It is also possible that there might be a ...
^^
Line 7, column 323, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...It is also possible that there might be a increase in population of children belo...
^
Line 7, column 386, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...n of children below 10 in Collegeville. Also there is a possibility that customers m...
^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'hence', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'third', 'thirdly', 'thus']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.277108433735 0.25644967241 108% => OK
Verbs: 0.166265060241 0.15541462614 107% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0433734939759 0.0836205057962 52% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0602409638554 0.0520304965353 116% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0385542168675 0.0272364105082 142% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.110843373494 0.125424944231 88% => OK
Participles: 0.0506024096386 0.0416121511921 122% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.62646276259 2.79052419416 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.021686746988 0.026700313972 81% => OK
Particles: 0.00240963855422 0.001811407834 133% => OK
Determiners: 0.0963855421687 0.113004496875 85% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0361445783133 0.0255425247493 142% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00722891566265 0.0127820249294 57% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2202.0 2731.13054187 81% => OK
No of words: 376.0 446.07635468 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.85638297872 6.12365571057 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.57801047555 96% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.337765957447 0.378187486979 89% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.276595744681 0.287650121315 96% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.18085106383 0.208842608468 87% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0797872340426 0.135150697306 59% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62646276259 2.79052419416 94% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 207.018472906 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.412234042553 0.469332199767 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 42.5726516845 52.1807786196 82% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.039408867 100% => OK
Sentence length: 18.8 23.2022227129 81% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.0477888033 57.7814097925 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.1 141.986410481 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8 23.2022227129 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.7 0.724660767414 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 3.58251231527 167% => OK
Readability: 46.4595744681 51.9672348444 89% => OK
Elegance: 1.65454545455 1.8405768891 90% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255298863141 0.441005458295 58% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.202232829075 0.135418324435 149% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.147084996819 0.0829849096947 177% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.577125266224 0.58762219726 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.129526772516 0.147661913831 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108635419909 0.193483328276 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.036653438816 0.0970749176394 38% => The sentences are too close to each other.
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.349389744145 0.42659136922 82% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0541467471463 0.0774707102158 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168895314886 0.312017818177 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0279985565995 0.0698173142475 40% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.33743842365 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.87684729064 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.82512315271 166% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 6.46551724138 108% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 8.0 2.82389162562 283% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 14.657635468 136% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.