According to a recent report by our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the last year. Clearly, the content of these reviews is not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not in the quality of our movies but with public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater quantity of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.
This argument is well presented yet far-fetched. It lays a claim that decreasing number of viewers of the theater is ascribed to the public's lack of awaring that the availibility of the Super Screen in the theater and suggest to advertise for attracting more viewers. Nevertheless, the argument is in effect definitely unreasonable due to several flaws after a close scrutiny though it may appear plausible at the first glance.
To begin with, the advertising director of the company claims that with the report from the marketing department last year, fewer people went to movie than in any other year. It seems unconvincing because the data of the report is based on the observation which only lays for a year. Maybe fewer people went to the theater was because of the economic stagnation around the world last year.
Secondly, the author asserts that the decreasing number of viewers is not due to the quality but the lack of awareness that Super Screen movies are available. The author fails to retrospect their own disadvantages which might be the truly cause of the diminish of customers. Maybe the percentage of positive reviews about certain Super Screen movie is true, at the same time, there exists tons of complaints from other movies because of its terrible quality. The director should not conclude that the quality is not the problem just on the basis of certain movie of the entire theater.
Thirdly, the director suggests the company to increase the investment of advertisements in order to entice more people to come. If the theater fail to improve its truly problems, like the quality of movies, the traffic around the theater, or the price of the tickets, people will not be attracted by the advertisements. Moreover, the company will lose more money than before because of the wrong investment in the wrong area, let's say, advertisement.
In retrospect, it seems precipitous for the author to jump to the conclusion based on a series of problematic premises. To bolster it the advertising director must provide clear evidence that the lack of awareness contributed to the decreasing number of customers. After all, feckless attempts with a fallible method could be nothing but a fool's errand.
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Sentence: If the theater fail to improve its truly problems, like the quality of movies, the traffic around the theater, or the price of the tickets, people will not be attracted by the advertisements.
Description: The fragment theater fail to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace fail with verb, past tense
Description: The fragment its truly problems is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace truly with adjective
Sentence: It lays a claim that decreasing number of viewers of the theater is ascribed to the public's lack of awaring that the availibility of the Super Screen in the theater and suggest to advertise for attracting more viewers.
Error: availibility Suggestion: availability
Error: awaring Suggestion: ?
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 368 350
No. of Characters: 1812 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.38 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.924 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.228 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5