"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
What are the essential circumstances for developing an exemplary leader? Should the leader be raised in a collaborative environment, where everyone understands each other and gets along well? Or should leaders have an atmosphere which produces a sense of competition among other people, who is a perfectionist, never letting anyone else surpass their level of excellence? Many people have diverse opinions regarding that concern. Some argue that a leader has to be competitive. After all, competition stimulates the desire to become more competent than everyone else which eventually makes a leader the best one. However, leaders make decisions which influence a vast majority of people and thus should possess a sense of cooperation and the will to act considerate to everyone- not the sense of rivalry where one frequently has to answer the question: How can I be superior compared to the rest.
Instilling the attitude of competition does further intensify the leadership characteristics of an individual in a nation. A leader should be a capable person who possesses a variety of competencies. To develop such abilities, juveniles require a source of motivation to be dedicated to acquiring unique ideas and also in acquiring a diverse range of required competencies. A sense of competition serves as this source of inspiration for tomorrow's leaders. Moreover, a competitive environment also boosts up the pace of development of an individual. For instance, a child in 6th grade might be content after learning the entire curriculum of 6th grade. But if the child has a competitor, who has also already learned the whole syllabus, the child will become dedicated to learning the curriculum of yet another higher class. In this way, a sense of competition can benefit from prompting leaders to advance their abilities rapidly.
However, leaders need to be more than skilled and knowledgeable in order to become the greatest leaders. An outstanding characteristic of a leader is to possess a decent understanding of the requirement of the people the leader is supervising. And understanding such specific demands can be accomplished through a spirit of cooperation rather than opposition. Demands of every society being directed might be distinctive and care completely understood through cooperation. Moreover, only when a leader has a sense of collaboration, the leader will remain empathetic towards the people and become qualified to implement actions that benefit the entire society. A leader without the understanding of people does not recognize the best approach to govern the community. For instance, in the famous children's animated cinema- "The Lion King", even though Scar, the wicked lion who achieves the status of the King by murdering his own brother, is more competent as a fighter and becomes the emperor of lions, he doesn't understand the need of cooperation ( which is portrayed as a requirement for balanced ecosystem in the cinema) and displays the quality of a defective leader. With a sense of competition and attainment of supremacy alone, leaders cannot become excellent when they don't have a collaborative style of leadership.
Consequently, while a sense of competition might contribute to the provision of an incentive for improvement, communities should further concentrate on fostering the spirit of cooperation among budding leaders. After all, ideal leaders are not just characters who focus on making themselves superior in comparison to the rest. Leaders are those people who elevate the entire community to a distinguished level along with themselves.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 338, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[4]
Message: The pronoun 'anyone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'surpasses'.
Suggestion: surpasses
...erfectionist, never letting anyone else surpass their level of excellence? Many people ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1017, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...er and becomes the emperor of lions, he doesnt understand the need of cooperation whi...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1058, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oesnt understand the need of cooperation which is portrayed as a requirement for ...
^^
Line 3, column 1286, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...aders cannot become excellent when they dont have a collaborative style of leadershi...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, moreover, regarding, so, still, thus, well, while, after all, as to, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.4196629213 137% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 33.0505617978 42% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 58.6224719101 135% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 12.9106741573 232% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3038.0 2235.4752809 136% => OK
No of words: 562.0 442.535393258 127% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40569395018 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86893614481 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19761533973 2.79657885939 114% => OK
Unique words: 277.0 215.323595506 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492882562278 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 989.1 704.065955056 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 6.24550561798 16% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.5698215368 60.3974514979 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.846153846 118.986275619 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6153846154 23.4991977007 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.57692307692 5.21951772744 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131268317704 0.243740707755 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0369230945994 0.0831039109588 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.033178176629 0.0758088955206 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0820535031697 0.150359130593 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0293684009014 0.0667264976115 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.1392134831 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.8420337079 68% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.1639044944 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.12 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 158.0 100.480337079 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.