The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Having competitive and cooperation skills, no matter in a governmental or industrial sector, is of importance towards being a good leader. An individual, who is willing to be a qualified leader in the future, usually attempts to be competitive, and perhaps, as a result, he or she may undermine the vitality of a sense of cooperation. The possible reason behind for this is that being competitive is somewhat innate for young people, but collaboration is the skill which mastering it might take for them for several years, or sometimes the entire life. I would agree that more focus should be directed on a sense of cooperation in which young talents would attain great successes in the long-term.
In many schools in my country, young students are persistently taught to be competitive to each other in order to get higher results in academic performance. But does this achievement really contribute to shape them as a compelling leader? Competition, of course, assists students to be highly motivated, but this motivation is temporary and might disappear in short time. Take, the greatest footballer in the history - Cristiano Ronaldo. In his early age he was highly competitive that helped him to be start his professional career. However, when he was playing for Real Madrid FC after being adept at team play, he, as a leader, had a sense of cooperation to organize strategy and tactics to completely defeat the opposite team. This means that even if competition is essential to get extra energy, the lack of cooperation might hinder to succeed great achievements, like triumphs and reputation. Young students, therefore, need to learn more to be cooperative.
There is myriad of event in history where a sense of cooperation became superior that of competition. The historical events, such as the World War II, have already proved that without achieving a common sense of collaboration the victory is under threat. We still remember that in the early 1940s, there was a strenuous period for the Soviet Union, where countries had to reach consensus with allies to defeat the enemy. But just imagine, if the leaders of these countries had chosen another way, like showing off their military powers and fighting against the enemy separately, the places where we are residing now would have become a complete chaos. Based on these facts, the assumption we can make is that leaders can attain remarkable results if they are on the same page with their teams and allies. Young talents, hence, need to obtain this skill to make wise decisions.
In the end, although a sense of competition is something heredity and can benefit young talents to get short-term motivation, it can sometimes obscure their ways toward success. It seems that everybody, no matter a professional athlete or a leader of a nation, ought to have a sense of collaboration which usually requires persistent effort to be acquired. Therefore, young students need to be taught these skills thoroughly because sharing the knowledge with each other and working collectively are the key to obtain great successes, not mentioned to becoming a strong leader.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 700, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ttain great successes in the long-term. In many schools in my country, young stu...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, may, really, so, still, therefore, in short, of course, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.5258426966 154% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 58.6224719101 119% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2611.0 2235.4752809 117% => OK
No of words: 514.0 442.535393258 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07976653696 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88971314796 2.79657885939 103% => OK
Unique words: 276.0 215.323595506 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536964980545 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 822.6 704.065955056 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.4424415477 60.3974514979 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.333333333 118.986275619 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4761904762 23.4991977007 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.80952380952 5.21951772744 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169711610937 0.243740707755 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0490318607092 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0494581647087 0.0758088955206 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112255547246 0.150359130593 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0595501536809 0.0667264976115 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.1392134831 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.48 12.1639044944 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 100.480337079 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.