Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Young people are often make the mistake of running towards fame without any second thoughts. The advent of social media has derailed young people from the right track. The prompt recommends that young people should indulge in activities and act upon them only after considering the long-term effects of their actions, they should not worry about fame at such a tender age. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this suggestion and believe that long-term goals result in better outcomes for two reasons.
To begin with, long-term and realistic goals give a fair shot to a person to achieve his/her goal. A realistic goal makes it viable to pursue and achieve, for it is in the bounds or capabilities of that person. S/he might not be the only one going towards that realistic goal but this doesn’t diminish the value of it. Everyone has their own preference, if it aligns with someone else it doesn’t make it not worthy of pursuing in a moment. The long-term approach combined with realistic expectations gives the person enough time to act towards his goal, for no amount of success is achieved in a day. For example, if a student who aspires to be doctor must be patient enough to work hard for a long time, it’s a realistic goal, but s/he must work day and night, get through the medical school to achieve this goal of his/her, but if the student gets charmed by fame and recognition, he might throw his goal away to become famous, and there’s no guarantee for which fame he’s leaving his dream, he'll get it. He might not also be able to become a doctor without hard work but if he truly desires to be and it is his goal he’ll try hard work cannot be said the same for the things he’s doing only for secondary reasons.
Another reason will be the fleeting nature of fame, fame is not permanent, even though nothing in life is but in my opinion fame is one of the most unstable one. For even an incautious statement might put a famous person in jeopardy and not to mention the lack of privacy famous people get. Getting such fame at a young is enough to make anyone feel as if he’s in clouds but this is not a good thing. There have been many examples where young people get a lot of fame but then later it affects their mental health for social media bullying, abusive comments being one of the biggest reasons. Many young celebrities have given up on their life, because a young person being inexperienced to real world haven’t learned much to fight the harsh realities if the world. In such circumstances it’s best for young people to focus on their goals and must not care about fame, instead work hard to achieve their goals.
There might be arguments that being famous gives you a lot of benefits, such as access to high social life, affluence but is really worth putting your mental health through extreme conditions, just to earn high status early in life? No matter what the cost is, there’s nothing more valuable than a person’s life, for which mental health is of utmost importance. With progressing slowly towards realistic goals one can hope to learn at his own pace.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 995, Rule ID: HELL[1]
Message: Did you mean 'he'll'?
Suggestion: he'll
... for which fame he’s leaving his dream, hell get it. He might not also be able to be...
^^^^
Line 5, column 346, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'anyone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'feels'.
Suggestion: feels
...ame at a young is enough to make anyone feel as if he’s in clouds but this is not a ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 788, Rule ID: IT_IS[22]
Message: Did you mean 'its' (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
Suggestion: its
...ies if the world. In such circumstances it’s best for young people to focus on their...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, really, second, so, then, for example, such as, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 51.0 33.0505617978 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 58.6224719101 118% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 12.9106741573 54% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2563.0 2235.4752809 115% => OK
No of words: 553.0 442.535393258 125% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63471971067 5.05705443957 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84932490483 4.55969084622 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.338308651 2.79657885939 84% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 215.323595506 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491862567812 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 764.1 704.065955056 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.9882867315 60.3974514979 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.15 118.986275619 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.65 23.4991977007 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.55 5.21951772744 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.281012729377 0.243740707755 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0898938293734 0.0831039109588 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0310662820195 0.0758088955206 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168007128826 0.150359130593 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0262094404342 0.0667264976115 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.1392134831 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.99 48.8420337079 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.87 12.1639044944 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 100.480337079 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.