It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be tough to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This 21th century, many successful people have been born in Indonesia. For instance, Fatin, the icon of energic young singer, was the winner of X-Factor Indonesia in 2013. Some people believe that to good at something people must have talents, but the other believe that we can good at something through hard working. This essay will examine these aspects.
Many parents today give their children many cources, especially in sports and arts, in order to make their children expert in it. Their children must practice every day. This brings result that not few children who practice much for many years become good sportsman or mucician.
On the other hand, we find obviously many musician or sportsman are famous because they have natural ability. The talented one is Gita Gutawa, who reached the awesome success as singer in their teenage age. Luckily for people who have talents, because talent is God-given that they can best at something since child, without study hard.
To sum up, I think taltents and hard work are the factors that contribute someone become expert at their interest. People who have talents can reach their goal more easily. But, if they do not practice, they cannot prove it. However, ordinary people who always practice hard and never give up can reach their goal even though it take a longer time.
Sentence: Some people believe that to good at something people must have talents, but the other believe that we can good at something through hard working.
Description: The word good is not usually used as an adverb
Suggestion: Refer to good
entence: To sum up, I think taltents and hard work are the factors that contribute someone become expert at their interest.
Description: The fragment someone become expert is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: However, ordinary people who always practice hard and never give up can reach their goal even though it take a longer time.
Description: The fragment it take a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace take with verb, past tense
Sentence: Many parents today give their children many cources, especially in sports and arts, in order to make their children expert in it.
Error: cources Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To sum up, I think taltents and hard work are the factors that contribute someone become expert at their interest.
Error: taltents Suggestion: talents
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.982 7.5
No. of Words: 223 350
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 223 350
No. of Characters: 1070 1500
No. of Different Words: 138 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.864 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.798 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.09 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 54 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.982 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5