In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.
What are your opinions on this?
Children's behaviours, lifes are determined in their childhood in many countries. A lot of parents engage their children in some kind of paid work. However, some parents remove their children from some things. These opinions are also exist in my country. These jobs are different.
In one hand, some people think that this decision is completely wrong. Surely, this thought isn't right.Because, in all conditions to protect children from these things, in my opinion, isn't reasonable. If parents want and try to catch children throughout the work an their early ages, this process won't impact good for them.
In the other hand, from my point of view, to begin paid work at an early age is very necessary for responsibility. It is urgent for children because it as valuable work experience.Work experience in this ages will be advantage for children. Nobody denies, responsibility in work is the most important thing and to begin to respond at early ages is very significant.
Thus, in our country, for my own survey most people encourage their children for paid work. However, there are some people that be opposite to this idea.One piece of them indicate the reason like shame.They say that this is ashamed.another piece of them demonstrate that children must live their youth comfortable.As they will work during their life.
In conclusion, as far as I concern, counterparties are partially justified.Nevertheless, I agree with the second piece of this debate. Therefore, children must be adapted to the difficulties. Nobody live his/her life cosy.
Sentence: If parents want and try to catch children throughout the work an their early ages, this process won't impact good for them.
Description: An article is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to an and their
Sentence: It is urgent for children because it as valuable work experience.Work experience in this ages will be advantage for children.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and ages
Sentence: However, there are some people that be opposite to this idea.One piece of them indicate the reason like shame.They say that this is ashamed.another piece of them demonstrate that children must live their youth comfortable.As they will work during their life.
Description: The token that is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to that and be
In the other hand or On the other hand?
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 261 350
No. of Characters: 1256 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 261 350
No. of Characters: 1256 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.019 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.812 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.684 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 77 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.518 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5