The professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment stars or personalities. Do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, some people argue that sports stars or idols often receive a lower salary than professional workers like doctors or teachers. I do not agree with this.
Professional workers do deserve a handsome pay because they make a great contribution to our society. Put it in detail, their jobs are often associate with our daily life, so almost every individuals cannot live without them. For instance, the society may face a great crisis, if we do not have teachers, people would not find a job, due to lack of knowledge. Besides, professional workers usually have to live a busy life to meet other people's demands, so they should be paid a high salary.
Alternatively, athletes and superstars also should be paid well, when considering their jobs are not so easy as well. Generally speaking, sportsman or an actor should work very hard before they become famous. They have to receive professional training everyday, but only a few people can get success in such career. And then , when they are famous enough, they may be prone to be injury due to the high working strength.
Apart from that, athletes and entertainment stars' jobs are also a necessary part of the society. For instance, when an athlete win honor for his or her own country in a international competition, people in this country may be inspired by them. As a result, more people are likely to contribute to the country just like their idols.
To summarize, how to pay people a proper salary should depends their contributions, as well as the time and efforts they invest to. So I agree that sportsmen and stars should be paid well like professional workers.
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- Bar Chart 73
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Sentence: For instance, when an athlete win honor for his or her own country in a international competition, people in this country may be inspired by them.
Description: The fragment athlete win honor is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace win with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: To summarize, how to pay people a proper salary should depends their contributions, as well as the time and efforts they invest to.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to should and depends
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1313 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.673 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.144 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5