Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Regarding to the fact that we are living in the modern world, quite a few people attempt to find out new beneficial approaches to the public health matters. As a result, opinions are divided as to whether sport facilities are the best way in order to increase the levels of public health or other measures should be taken into account. There are strong arguments in favor of both sides and I will address these issues below.
To begin with, sport which is considered as the symbol of healthy lifestyle plays an indispensable role in the human-beings’ lives. It is an undeniable fact that engaging in sport improves cardiovascular system; it betters the flow of blood in the vessels, as well as strengthens muscles. It is due to the points I mentioned above, a large number of people claim that it is almost impossible to solve public health problems without increasing the number of sport facilities.
However, some including me think that sport activities are not sufficient, other measures are required. For instance, avoiding eating fast foods, spending fewer hours at the computers, healthy diets and etc. are other kinds of solutions which should go hand in hand with promoting sport activities. Moreover, to my mind, governments are the key subjects in this process. To be more precise, I strongly believe that governments must make the public be aware of public health matters, they must indicate drawbacks of junk foods, and if necessary they have to introduce new laws and come up with other suggestions related to public health.
To sum it up, to put all things in a nutshell, I am confident to restate that sport facilities in not the only way to improve public health, other measures along with sport activities should be carried out.
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| Fri, 10/18/2013 - 04:18 | Yves | 72 | view |
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Sentence: To sum it up, to put all things in a nutshell, I am confident to restate that sport facilities in not the only way to improve public health, other measures along with sport activities should be carried out.
Description: The token in is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to in and not
flaws:
'To sum it up' = 'to put all things in a nutshell'. One of them is enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 296 350
No. of Characters: 1417 1500
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.148 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.787 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 9.718 7.5
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5