the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Essay topics:

the bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The following bar graph illustrates the proportion of Australian population in both genders who did physical exercises regularly in 2010.
Overall, female accounted for far higher percentage in almost age groups except the first and last one.
A closer look at the chart reveals that men did physical activity most frequently when they were in the age 15 to 24, accounted for 52.8% while 53.3% was the highest percentage regarded to women from 45 to 54 years old.
Furthermore, we can see fluctuations in both sex. The percentage of female began with 47.7% and then experienced a steadily increase until they were in mid-age. However, after that point, the figure unexpectedly dropped. In contrast, the proportion of male followed an opposite trend: it slightly decreased in the first 20 years from the age 15 to reach a low at 39.5% at the end of that period. Following that, it gradually rose to see a similarity with the figure of female when they became the elderly: both accounted for above 46%.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 113, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('steadily') instead an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
...e began with 47.7% and then experienced a steadily increase until they were in mid-age. However, af...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, however, look, then, while, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 1.00243902439 100% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 6.8 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 3.15609756098 222% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 10.0 5.60731707317 178% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 30.0 33.7804878049 89% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 3.97073170732 76% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 834.0 965.302439024 86% => OK
No of words: 170.0 196.424390244 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90588235294 4.92477711251 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.61087313685 3.73543355544 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71937810924 2.65546596893 102% => OK
Unique words: 106.0 106.607317073 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.623529411765 0.547539520022 114% => OK
syllable_count: 252.9 283.868780488 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.33902439024 115% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 3.36585365854 59% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 8.94146341463 89% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.4926829268 93% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.921522087 43.030603864 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.25 112.824112599 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.25 22.9334400587 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.375 5.23603664747 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 1.69756097561 59% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 3.70975609756 27% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 1.13902439024 88% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.09268292683 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242346013177 0.215688989381 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0874868792783 0.103423049105 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100841124577 0.0843802449381 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161457387843 0.15604864568 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0928359141419 0.0819641961636 113% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 13.2329268293 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 61.2550243902 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.51609756098 135% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.3012195122 100% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 11.4140731707 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.06136585366 102% => OK
difficult_words: 38.0 40.7170731707 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.4329268293 96% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.9970731707 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.0658536585 99% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.