WRITING TASK 1The charts show what the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.You should spend about 20 minutes

Essay topics:

WRITING TASK 1

The charts show what the Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You should write at least 150 words.

The chart gives information about an Australian institution whom students were doing further education and job ,in contrast, to unemployed students after attending senior high school.

According to the chart,in 1980 fifty percent of students opt for higher education studies which is among the highest percentage as compared to 38 percent and 37 percent in 1990 and 2000 respectively.

Furthermore, the lowest percentage of unemployment lies in 2000(8 percent) when correlating it with percentage in 1980(10 percent) and 1990(12 percent). while in 1990 the successful ratio of job hunters are 5 percent less than as in 2000.

In the same way,the largest number of working students accounts for 55% in 2000 in correspondence to 40% in 1980 which is the lowest of all years.

Overall,keen observation reveals that students choose to job more in 2000 and not going for further studies.In addition to this unemployment ratio also has a negotiable decrease(8%) which had an increased percentage in 1990(12%) and 1980(10%) as well.

Votes
Average: 1.1 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nts were doing further education and job ,in contrast, to unemployed students aft...
^^
Line 1, column 148, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...job ,in contrast, to unemployed students after attending senior high school. ...
^^
Line 5, column 23, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , in
...high school. According to the chart,in 1980 fifty percent of students opt for ...
^^^
Line 9, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... unemployment lies in 20008 percent when correlating it with percentage in 198010...
^^
Line 9, column 149, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...e in 198010 percent and 199012 percent. while in 1990 the successful ratio of job hun...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 16, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ss than as in 2000. In the same way,the largest number of working students acco...
^^^^
Line 15, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , keen
...h is the lowest of all years. Overall,keen observation reveals that students choos...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... students choose to job more in 2000 and not going for further studies.In additio...
^^
Line 15, column 110, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...2000 and not going for further studies.In addition to this unemployment ratio als...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, if, so, well, while, in addition, in contrast, in the same way

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.0 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 6.8 88% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 3.15609756098 190% => OK
Pronoun: 3.0 5.60731707317 54% => OK
Preposition: 28.0 33.7804878049 83% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 3.97073170732 227% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 872.0 965.302439024 90% => OK
No of words: 162.0 196.424390244 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.38271604938 4.92477711251 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.56762134501 3.73543355544 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98668487485 2.65546596893 112% => OK
Unique words: 101.0 106.607317073 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.623456790123 0.547539520022 114% => OK
syllable_count: 234.0 283.868780488 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.45097560976 96% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 1.53170731707 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.33902439024 69% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.482926829268 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 3.36585365854 178% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 8.94146341463 67% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.4926829268 120% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.1910239873 43.030603864 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.333333333 112.824112599 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 22.9334400587 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.5 5.23603664747 258% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 3.83414634146 130% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 1.69756097561 530% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 3.70975609756 54% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 1.13902439024 263% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.09268292683 24% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0478792239007 0.215688989381 22% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0262681354293 0.103423049105 25% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0517722721614 0.0843802449381 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0315217625151 0.15604864568 20% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0552343933828 0.0819641961636 67% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 13.2329268293 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.99 61.2550243902 100% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.51609756098 172% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.3012195122 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 11.4140731707 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.06136585366 109% => OK
difficult_words: 39.0 40.7170731707 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.4329268293 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.9970731707 116% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.0658536585 108% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum four paragraphs wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.