You live in a room in college which you share with another student.
However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it
very difficult to work.
Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter,
• describe the situation
• explain your problems and why it is difficult to work
• say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
Dear sir,
I have encountered a series of problems since I lived in with another student in the same room. I am writing this letter to ask if you would be generous as to do me a favour.
My roommate and I study the same course in the college. However, we have had a dispute recently, because of our different lifestyles. I am more likely to study in a silent environment. Unfortunately, my roommate usually invites some strangers to have parties in the room and consequently generate numerous unbearable noises that seriously interfere with my sleep and study. In addition, the room is close to the busy road. Therefore, I am also affected dreadfully by the din of the traffic, thereby unable to concentrate on my work.
In the light of such facts, I would like you to arrange another place for me to settle in, and also I am unwilling to share the room with others. Furthermore, the accommodation should be far away from the road.
I hope that my request will not inconvenience you too much. If you require further information, you can contact me by email.
Yours sincerely,
David
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
The sentences are short. Need some compound/complex sentences. and try not to use pronouns a lot. You used pronouns more than average.
for example:
In addition, the room is close to the busy road. Therefore, I am also affected dreadfully by the din of the traffic, thereby unable to concentrate on my work.
revised:
In addition, since the room is close to the busy road, the din of the traffic affects me dreadfully to concentrate on my work.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 10
No. of Words: 192 250
No. of Characters: 861 1200
No. of Different Words: 120 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.722 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.484 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.776 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 57 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.15 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.671 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 387, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re with my sleep and study. In addition, the room is close to the busy road. Ther...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, furthermore, however, if, so, therefore, as to, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 7.0 43% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 1.00243902439 499% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 4.0 6.8 59% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 2.0 3.15609756098 63% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 5.60731707317 499% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 30.0 33.7804878049 89% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 3.97073170732 126% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 909.0 965.302439024 94% => OK
No of words: 192.0 196.424390244 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.734375 4.92477711251 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.72241943641 3.73543355544 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89728961434 2.65546596893 109% => OK
Unique words: 120.0 106.607317073 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.625 0.547539520022 114% => OK
syllable_count: 296.1 283.868780488 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 1.53170731707 718% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.114634146341 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.33902439024 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.07073170732 187% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 3.36585365854 89% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 8.94146341463 145% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 22.4926829268 62% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.8926001535 43.030603864 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 69.9230769231 112.824112599 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7692307692 22.9334400587 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.07692307692 5.23603664747 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 1.69756097561 59% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 3.70975609756 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 1.13902439024 351% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.09268292683 122% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.274866346295 0.215688989381 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0779719517681 0.103423049105 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.071319818021 0.0843802449381 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178210877951 0.15604864568 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0773608580363 0.0819641961636 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.2 13.2329268293 62% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 61.2550243902 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.3012195122 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.56 11.4140731707 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.06136585366 101% => OK
difficult_words: 46.0 40.7170731707 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.4329268293 74% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.9970731707 69% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.0658536585 72% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.