In modern society, there is a tendency that some young people spend more time on their hobbies rather than their full-time jobs. Although I agree that it harms the society to some extent, I believe that the impact can be positive in the long term.
One problem related with the popularity of part-time jobs among young generation is that it poses a great challenge on governmental operation. People who are engaged in a part-time job are unlikely to earn a stable income to pay off their mortgages or even afford their basic necessities. Meanwhile, most hobbies are an investment of money and time, which means players have difficulty making stable revenues from their interests immediately. They may run out of money quickly and are probably stuck into financial problems at last. As a result, they have to rely on government’s allowances to make a living, which poses a huge financial burden on the society, because the local authority has to cut budgets and expenses for other public services, such as constructions of community hospitals and the upgrade of facilities in primary schools.
On the other hand, it is possible that those who devote themselves into hobbies can eventually achieve success and even become specialists in their fields. People who are immersed in their own enterprises show an eager to learn. They will stay self-motivated and optimistic when facing difficulties. Hence, it is much more easy for them to tackle problems and improve their expertise. They are more likely to become experts in their fields and fill up the knowledge gap in related areas. As a result, they can make a living by their techniques and even earn much more than their peers.
In conclusion, the popularity of pursuing hobbies rather than a full-time job can impose a strain on the financial burden of local government. But I believe, in the long term, some of them will achieve fame and benefit the society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 225, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... are unlikely to earn a stable income to pay off their mortgages or even afford t...
^^
Line 3, column 272, Rule ID: BASIC_FUNDAMENTALS[1]
Message: Use simply 'necessities'.
Suggestion: necessities
...ff their mortgages or even afford their basic necessities. Meanwhile, most hobbies are an investm...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, if, may, so, while, as to, in conclusion, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 24.0651302605 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1601.0 1615.20841683 99% => OK
No of words: 322.0 315.596192385 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97204968944 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72988432557 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 176.041082164 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555900621118 0.561755894193 99% => OK
syllable_count: 508.5 506.74238477 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.0483615501 49.4020404114 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.733333333 106.682146367 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4666666667 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.2 7.06120827912 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148327533635 0.244688304435 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0503368679239 0.084324248473 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0241000367072 0.0667982634062 36% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0941741246282 0.151304729494 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0283255912234 0.056905535591 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.0946893788 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 50.2224549098 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.4159519038 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 78.4519038076 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.