At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

In some countries, the number of young people has increased faster than the number of elderly people in recent years.In my opinion, this phenomenon has more benefits than drawbacks.
On the one hand, the fact that the population includes a wide range of young adults may place the education system under pressure, causing financial burdens for the government. The number of young people rises will move in tandem with an increase in the quantity and the quality of school schemes. This requires the government to invest in constructing more schools, employing more trained teachers, and improving the curricula in order to meet the educational demands of its citizens. For example, Vietnam has recorded a rapid rise in the number of young adults exceeding the number of available schools, which has created an educational crisis in recent years. 
However, I believe that the young population growing at a fast pace will contribute to developing the national economy because it will provide a large number of labor forces. These people not only have the abilities to access and apply new technologies that enhance work productivity in certain fields relating to science and automation but also reduce the lack of employees in these areas. In other words, an increase in the number of young adults couples with the development of modern industry, which stimulates the economy to develop besides raising the living conditions for its people. For instance, due to its abundant young labor, China has many technological inventions, particularly appliances, which contribute greatly to the growing export profits of these kinds of products. Thus, both the nation and the citizen will receive the advantages of the young population's growing trend.
In conclusion, although the presence of numerous young adults in some countries can put pressure on the education system, I strongly believe that the benefits of developing the economy from this trend outstrip its drawbacks.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: In
...umber of elderly people in recent years.In my opinion, this phenomenon has more be...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d an educational crisis in recent years.  However, I believe that the young popula...
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Line 3, column 144, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ational economy because it will provide a large number of labor forces. These people not only hav...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, may, so, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in my opinion, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 0.0 13.1623246493 0% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 24.0651302605 75% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1659.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 313.0 315.596192385 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.30031948882 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20616286096 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74546316788 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552715654952 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 514.8 506.74238477 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 20.2975951904 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.9438034527 49.4020404114 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 165.9 106.682146367 156% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.3 20.7667163134 151% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.5 7.06120827912 163% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.289699175677 0.244688304435 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109030183485 0.084324248473 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0646401992622 0.0667982634062 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171561467421 0.151304729494 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0356891039576 0.056905535591 63% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.2 13.0946893788 147% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.01 50.2224549098 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 11.3001002004 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.4159519038 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.12 8.58950901804 118% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 78.4519038076 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 9.78957915832 138% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.1190380762 142% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.