In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between inequality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in more egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits.
The concern and ongoing debate in the relationship between equality and personal success have developed recently. Some are convinced that individuals have marvellous opportunities to gain their success in egalitarian societies where everyone is treated in the same manner no matter what their educational, economical and intellectual levels are. While the opponents conceive that the high level of attainment will happen only if the individuals are free to achieve both the success and failure based on their own capabilities. I entirely believe that there is a strong connection between equality and personal success and this essay aims to elaborate that the egalitarian society is the best option for people.
As the era is developing, some aspects among the general public are changing and equality is one of those aspects. The concept of equality has been spread in the whole world and it results in many successes in egalitarian communities. Egalitarian gives fantastic chance to people to gain their achievement since there is no restriction for people in order to reach their success. In this situation, skill and knowledge are the main factors to achieve it. In Indonesia, for example, it was hard for women to have positions in certain sectors such as politics and military because most people were convinced that it was not appropriate for women to become either politician or a defence personnel. Yet, as the people is more open-minded now, it is no longer an issue and women can achieve their success in any sectors based on their ability. Thus, the egalitarian trend has influenced the society’s achievement.
Besides, equal rights and opportunities trigger people to become more competitive in a positive way and have more spirit to achieve something. Furthermore, people can get motivation from their surrounding that has similar objectives. In a classroom, for instance, every pupil has the same rights to be the champ without be differentiated by the teacher. While the students are surrounded by spirited fellows, they will learn better. In this case, having equal opportunities and rights urge people to gain the best achievement. Therefore, egalitarian concepts provide more chance to every people to become successful.
In conclusion, In conclusion, equality motivates people to work together and help each other. In a society where discrimination is present, even based on people’s capability, greater good can never be achieved.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 50, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...a is developing, some aspects among the general public are changing and equality is one of tho...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 83, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...igger people to become more competitive in a positive way and have more spirit to achieve somethi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 426, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...ed by spirited fellows, they will learn better. In this case, having equal opportuniti...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, furthermore, if, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 13.1623246493 167% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 10.4138276553 154% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2086.0 1615.20841683 129% => OK
No of words: 387.0 315.596192385 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.39018087855 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.20363070211 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03234130298 2.80592935109 108% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 176.041082164 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.532299741602 0.561755894193 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 678.6 506.74238477 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.0868904221 49.4020404114 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.789473684 106.682146367 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3684210526 20.7667163134 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.89473684211 7.06120827912 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.67935871743 184% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257212636806 0.244688304435 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0744260629313 0.084324248473 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0469745872701 0.0667982634062 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141539880916 0.151304729494 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0464021215556 0.056905535591 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 13.0946893788 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.26 50.2224549098 68% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.5 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.98 12.4159519038 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.79 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 78.4519038076 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.5 9.78957915832 169% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.