Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organisations draws attention to problems. Others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In modern society, an increasing number of celebrities such as film stars, sportspersons, and some other billionaires tend to sponsor global philanthropic organizations. However, some people believe that the support from well-known people can draw more public attention to the problems while others argue that problems might be downplayed by their involvements. The following paragraphs are going to discuss both views.
It is undeniable that famous people can raise the awareness of social problems. First of all, most celebrities are admired and respected by the public and this contributes to increasing the profile of aid organisations; therefore, a growing number of people will donate money or volunteer to assist charities to solve those problems. In addition, celebrities can also reflect social and environmental problems by creating songs or making films; for instance, We Are the World, a song created by Michael Jackson in 1991, successfully heightened concerns about the plight of children in impoverished countries.
On the other hand, celebrities could also lessen the importance of problems. One reason is because most people are likely to associate the purpose of celebrities’ support with either enhancing reputation or gaining public attention and consequently neglect them, thereby ignoring those pressing problems. Furthermore, some celebrities, especially those who are notorious for doping or sexual scandals, are denounced by the public, so their sponsorship could even jeopardise the reputation of aid organisations and people will therefore be discouraged from lending a hand to those charities.
In my opinion, it is reasonable to think that most celebrities’ assistance towards charities contributes to raising the awareness of problems due to their reputation and this could encourage citizens to make joint efforts to combat social problems. However, some entertainers with notoriety could also downplay the problems.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
can draw more public attention
can draw more public attentions
most people are likely to associate the purpose of celebrities’ support with either enhancing reputation or gaining public attention and consequently neglect them,
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
Sentence: Furthermore, some celebrities, especially those who are notorious for doping or sexual scandals, are denounced by the public, so their sponsorship could even jeopardise the reputation of aid organisations and people will therefore be discouraged from lending a hand to those charities.
Error: jeopardise Suggestion: jeopardize
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.273 21.0 //The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 289 350
No. of Characters: 1623 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.123 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.616 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.044 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.736 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.394 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.394 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 610, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of children in impoverished countries. On the other hand, celebrities could als...
^^^
Line 4, column 331, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...riety could also downplay the problems.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, however, so, therefore, well, while, for instance, in addition, such as, first of all, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 24.0651302605 75% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1672.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 289.0 315.596192385 92% => OK
Chars per words: 5.78546712803 5.12529762239 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12310562562 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.24223853636 2.80592935109 116% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 176.041082164 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.581314878893 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.384769539078 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => OK
Sentence length SD: 85.5560325795 49.4020404114 173% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.0 106.682146367 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2727272727 20.7667163134 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 14.9090909091 7.06120827912 211% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.331341543207 0.244688304435 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118198289165 0.084324248473 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0590663020384 0.0667982634062 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191061404191 0.151304729494 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0460890348328 0.056905535591 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.0 13.0946893788 145% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 28.17 50.2224549098 56% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 11.3001002004 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.6 12.4159519038 134% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.73 8.58950901804 113% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 78.4519038076 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.