Friends provide us companion and emotional consolation. But it occurs sometimes that friends also become our competitors. I tend to believe that friendships hardly survive serious competitions.
Competition destroys friends’ mutual sharing, which is the foundation of any friendship. Think about how you first connected with your best friends. Girls might start out talking about the latest fashion trends, and boys might share each other’s experiences in winning a sports game. Sincere sharing creates the ambience in which trust grows; and mutual trust solidifies friendships. But when fierce competitions occur between friends, things change. We are so afraid of losing that we start to hide things from our friends. A student so eager to win the first place in the final exam might refuse to help his friends with academic problems, and a salesperson who covets the “top sales” award might refuse to share his tips of selling goods to customers with other colleagues. Friendships fade thereby.
Besides, another reason why the competition wreaks havoc on friendships is that it destroys the mental balance of both parties. Healthy friendships occur conditionally: we rarely see cases where best friends are from families with completely different financial situations, and it’s also not likely that the CEO of a company would easily befriend some entry-level staff of this company. People from different backgrounds and social levels just find it too difficult to understand each other. The result of the competition, unfortunately, identifies clearly who’s the winner and who’s the loser, creating large chasms not easily ignored between friends. For instance, in an academic competition, your friend Jason outcompetes any other candidate, including you. Accordingly, he gets the chances to be a visiting scholar to Harvard University. He gets to impress those world-class professors, who could open a lot of doors for him in the future. He is on the fast track of development, while you stay still where you are. It’s hard for you to accept the truth that his life and your life is just a competition away. Knowing that you are positioned in different worlds even since, you might choose to step away. The truth is this cruel.
All in all, even though we find it reluctant to admit, competitions do jeopardize friendships.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 64, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put before the verb 'occurs'.
Suggestion: sometimes occurs
...anion and emotional consolation. But it occurs sometimes that friends also become our competitor...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 195, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ps hardly survive serious competitions. Competition destroys friends' mutua...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 824, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r colleagues. Friendships fade thereby. Besides, another reason why the competit...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, besides, but, first, if, so, still, while, for instance, talking about, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2008.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 372.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.39784946237 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39173103935 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94105678414 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.604838709677 0.524837075471 115% => OK
syllable_count: 585.9 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 58.9157868766 48.9658058833 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.3043478261 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1739130435 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73913043478 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135617554067 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.038982243083 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0468530361174 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.093408569839 0.150856017488 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0171009169607 0.0645574589148 26% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.74 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.