It goes withouth saying that there are both positive and negative aspect of using electronic devices. In this line of thought, some people believe that children should use these pieces oa equipment freely, while others hold the opposite opinion, stating that there should be a sever control on them. I personally concure with the latter group due to a couple of reasons, on which I will ealaborate in susequent paragraphs.
The first exquisite reason to be mention is that using gadgets can severely impact offspring's physical condition. In the other words, when childern sit on a place for hours playing video games, their mucsles become weaker due to the lack of physical activity and it can make serious issues later on their adulthood. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly ifluenced by my personal experience. When I was at kindergarten, I used to spend hours and hours watching diseny animations during the day doing nothing else. Later on middle school, I used to skip my sport classes because I was weaker than my classmates and I felt hourible about myself. As a resulte, The more I grew up , the more I become physicaly vulnerable and that was all based on the unlimited usage of television during my childhood.
Another equally important point considering my stance is that overusing the electronic devices can make the children become more interovert compered to the past. In fact they put all their time palying games in unreal world rather than socialize or play with their peers therefore they cannot learn the reudimentary communication skills for their future life. Drawing from my own observations, It clearly can be seen that the new genertion who was born in 2010 and after, growing up with ipads and play stations, lack in the ability of finding friends and keeping them around. It is certainly clear to see why this phenomena has extended to modern humanity.
To sum up, taking all aforementioned reasons and points into account, one can rationally conclude is that restriction on children usage of electronic devices can have considerable benefits for them. This is because in this way not only they become more healther, but also they can build up friendship skills for their life time.
- tpo50 integrated Writing 70
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 67, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'aspects'?
Suggestion: aspects
...at there are both positive and negative aspect of using electronic devices. In this li...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 303, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...re should be a sever control on them. I personally concure with the latter group due to a couple o...
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Line 3, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s that using gadgets can severely impact offsprings physical condition. In the ot...
^^
Line 3, column 458, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e. When I was at kindergarten, I used to spend hours and hours watching diseny an...
^^
Line 3, column 599, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... school, I used to skip my sport classes because I was weaker than my classmates ...
^^
Line 3, column 707, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...myself. As a resulte, The more I grew up , the more I become physicaly vulnerable ...
^^
Line 4, column 611, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...round. It is certainly clear to see why this phenomena has extended to modern humani...
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Line 5, column 318, Rule ID: LIFE_TIME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'lifetime'?
Suggestion: lifetime
...an build up friendship skills for their life time.
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, therefore, while, in fact, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1869.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 377.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9575596817 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6559594924 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.607427055703 0.524837075471 116% => OK
syllable_count: 586.8 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 42.4180255185 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.6 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1333333333 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.110356660776 0.236089414692 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0365104415346 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0296094297245 0.0737576698707 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0713624066205 0.150856017488 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0204194696933 0.0645574589148 32% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.27 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.