Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People care more about public recognition than about money Even if no more money is given public recognition can still make people work harder

In this modern and sophisticated world, money plays a vital role in people’s social situation and financial position. Although some people believe that they should work hard even if they are not given enough money, most people admit that getting a good salary is more important than is public recognition. I firmly believe that money is a more significant component of our life. In the following paragraphs, I will support my perspective.
First and foremost, earning enough money and having a good financial condition lets us enter unique places, meet prominent people and socialize with people who are wealthy and successful in their life. So it helps us to get familiar with these people and have the opportunity to talk to them. Therefore, they can give us essential and functional advice that helps us be better in our lives and vocation. Generally speaking, almost everyone works to earn enough money to improve their lives and have a high social status. As a case in point, I can remember that my sister worked as a doctor in a famous hospital five years ago, but she did not get paid enough even she worked too hard. While she had relatively public recognition, she could not afford a prosperous life. Thus she decided to resign and started to work in a private hospital with a much more salary. So she could make herself a better life. When she was invited to one of the biggest and most important medical conventions in the world held abroad, she could attend there because she had adequate money to cover her travel expenses. She met famous scholars and scientists and took many noteworthy remarks from them that improved her profession and knowledge. If she did not have enough money, she could not attend the conference.
Secondly, nowadays that the speed of technological progress is high; so, we should learn new stuff like new applications and technologies. Therefore we should pay money to enroll in different courses and participate in training workshops to increase our knowledge. We should earn enough money to pay for such things. As a personal example, two years ago, a new image processing technology introduced in my vocation, and its training workshop was costly. I could participate in that workshop, and I got the certificate of that. Thus I got a professional rank in the company that I worked for and got a promotion. Consequently, I get paid more than before. In my opinion, earning enough money let us spend it on learning new technologies and become expert.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that without money, we have not good public recognition. So money is much more important in our life. I predict that people will understand that they should not work hard and be paid less than their work’s value.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 770, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...she could not afford a prosperous life. Thus she decided to resign and started to wo...
^^^^
Line 3, column 139, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...like new applications and technologies. Therefore we should pay money to enroll in differ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 527, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...hop, and I got the certificate of that. Thus I got a professional rank in the compan...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, in conclusion, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2278.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 467.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87794432548 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72664420694 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496788008565 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 709.2 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.6581525784 48.9658058833 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.6153846154 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9615384615 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227682251326 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0676843811092 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0576097815218 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174378463045 0.150856017488 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0805993277215 0.0645574589148 125% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.