Educational systems are changing their perspectives and improving students' skills accordingly. An expected question comes into minds to relate the success in future jobs that the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. From my perspective, although numerous this ability gives priorities during the selection process for the position, I believe that proficiency and knowledge can defeat the networking.
The first and the most important reason is the expectations of companies of required knowledge on the subject. As universities provide good enough knowledge to accept an offered position in minor companies, but still qualified companies hire students who hold an excellent background and plenty of practices in the field. Especially, the selection process for a doctorate program in high-valued universities, such as ETH, requires and accept only students whose cumulative GPA is more than 3.5 over 4.
The subsequent and the other reason why hard studying is important for a successful future job comes from credits of bosses and leaders. The challenging problems faced in jabs can be solved only with the knowledge on the field. In other words, superiors of teams appreciate more the practical solutions of team members, not the ability of good communication. Although a collaboration needs to have good relations with other team members, knowledge still holds the prior role for credits. For example, my brother who a quiet and hard-working student is appreciated by his teachers, even he is doing computer programming in the college, his works are regarded as successful. Besides, he rewarded with his projects in the contest held by a national qualified company, but it wasn't because of his social skills, it was because of his excellence in the field.
In conclusion, students should study harder to be hired in a good company who can provide a higher salary for their workers. They can be awarded by bosses and leaders because of their knowledge, not because of communication skills.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 128, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'minds relating'.
Suggestion: minds relating
...dingly. An expected question comes into minds to relate the success in future jobs that the abi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 773, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...by a national qualified company, but it wasnt because of his social skills, it was be...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, besides, but, first, if, so, still, well, for example, in conclusion, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 43.0788530466 44% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1721.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 324.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31172839506 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24264068712 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95571870327 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.558641975309 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 523.8 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.2274448903 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.928571429 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1428571429 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57142857143 5.45110844103 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222145152525 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0791042921534 0.076458572812 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107138783246 0.0737576698707 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131534250572 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0925494064621 0.0645574589148 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 11.7677419355 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.31 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.