It goes without saying that, we as Homo sapiens, live in an age when our lifestyle has undergone extreme changes and became more complex. In ancient time, younger children mostly were busy to work in agrarian occupations and their way of living was according to a routine schedule has been planned by the structure of society. Conversely, today the situation has changed; parents have a program for every life stage of their kids. Their plan is divided into two parts; academic activities and voluntary (secondary) activities. Although some parents insist on academic activities and consider lower importance to the other tasks, others tend to bring up multi-skill off-springs. The following essay takes an elaborating look at how it is important and beneficial to flourish children multilaterally.
There is no denying that the general format of our character forms during childhood. Hence, this period should be followed by a special discipline to have a desired future and deserved social dignity. Undoubtedly, the aforesaid demands never would be achieved except with not ignoring our interests in the appropriate age. Beside an accepted major path, which is attending school and educating in the specific sphere, there is a secondary course that elevates our spiritual dimension and paves the path of success in other contexts. Indeed, it can be said that pursuing our interest in our main activities, moreover being versatile, fuels us mentally to overcome arisen problems and walk in our own direction strongly. Suppose the condition that children are forced to just go school and learn same topics and do arduous home-works, certainly, this leads the student to get bored, become less creative, disappointed and elusive from learning.
Due to the nature of art and our artistic nature, promotion of art and music courses should be an integral part of every educational system, to build juicy training environment and energetic students which we can trust on them in the future. A research done on the Urmia University shows that adding artistic courses and holding music celebration during a semester caused a dramatic increment in the GPA of considered school. It is also proved that putting art and music in the schedule of a training system directs society to the peace and calmness through polishing and stylizing of public spirit. In this regard, a group of psychologists and sociologists conducted an investigation in Istanbul, Turkey. They announced that the rate of crime in the society that treasures the art and music is considerably low, by 60%. Above all, getting children acquainted with artistic issues would bring wealth to a country by instructing and introducing outstanding painters, photographers, musician, fashion designer, sculptor, and actor.
To wrap it up, according to the aforementioned materials and reasons we can reach a conclusive conclusion that statesmen should pay special attention to the art subject because it will give positive feedback to society. If we forget art in our daily life, we would came-across with soulless, gloomy and motionless society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 237, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[7]
Message: The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'would' and 'be'.
Suggestion: would never be
...ity. Undoubtedly, the aforesaid demands never would be achieved except with not ignoring our i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...isappointed and elusive from learning. Due to the nature of art and our artisti...
^^^
Line 7, column 324, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oulless, gloomy and motionless society.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, conversely, hence, if, look, moreover, second, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2615.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 492.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31504065041 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89399134436 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 304.0 212.727598566 143% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.617886178862 0.524837075471 118% => OK
syllable_count: 814.5 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.8930209744 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.75 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6 20.6045352989 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.75 5.45110844103 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170095014132 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0436917885297 0.076458572812 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0339107669793 0.0737576698707 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0910818074156 0.150856017488 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0371549274102 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 11.7677419355 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 58.1214874552 67% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.06 8.01818996416 125% => OK
difficult_words: 163.0 86.8835125448 188% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.