Do you agree or disagree with the statement that people who move out of their hometowns can be more successful than people who stay in their hometowns for a whole a life

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the statement that people who move out of their hometowns can be more successful than people who stay in their hometowns for a whole a life

In the history of China, a maxim that the more you go, the more you get has been passed down generations by generations. Nevertheless, is this maxim still useful in the current society? Well, some people still believe that people who move out of their native towns to a big city can more successful than people who stay in their small towns for an entire life. Personally, I agree with this statement, people who move out of their small towns might more successful than people who stay in their hometowns.

First of all, it is moving out of the native towns that give them more opportunities to get a high-payment job. As we know, all kinds of high salary jobs are offered in big cities, so people can earn more in big cities easily. For example, my brother, Choi, went to Hong Kong after graduating from our hometown. Quickly, he found an accounting job in an HSBC bank, and he could get about 20000$ per month. However, my best friend, Tsai, selected to stay in our hometown after graduating. Luckily, Tsai also found an accounting job in one of the local banks, but the salary of Tsai was not as high as my brother’s, he only got 2000 $ per month. After a few years, my brother has already bought an apartment around his working place, but his friend still felt pressure to pay money for renting an apartment. Obviously, hardly does a person in a small town earn enough money to succeed.

Secondly, only when people stay in a big city can they know how to get long term benefits. This is because, in a big city, they will have more opportunities to contact some intelligent people who can help them to make long term benefits. For instance, my brother Choi, as I mentioned in the last paragraph, bought an apartment in an excellent position. To be honest, he did know where he should buy an apartment at first, hence he asked his colleagues to get some recommendations. Lee, one of his colleagues, gave him several reasons to buy the apartment which he lives in now, first is that this apartment can be sold for much more money after few years, second is that my brother’s children can get to the best publish elementary school in the future. On the contrary, my uncle stayed in our town since he was born. Just a few years ago, he brought an apartment too, also he asked several of his friends and colleagues to get advice, but none of his friends and colleagues is intelligent enough, so all of them suggested him to buy an apartment which is cheap, no matter other conditions.

In conclusion, because big cities can provide more high-payment jobs for people and people can get more long-term benefits, so I still believe people who move out of small towns can more successful.

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Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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2021-01-08 Bingdong Li 73 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 389, Rule ID: CURRENCY[1]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$20000'.
Suggestion: $20000
...in an HSBC bank, and he could get about 20000$ per month. However, my best friend, Tsa...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 627, Rule ID: CURRENCY[2]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$2000'.
Suggestion: $2000
...ot as high as my brother’s, he only got 2000 $ per month. After a few years, my brothe...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, still, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2214.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 483.0 407.700716846 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.58385093168 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68799114503 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58252231115 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472049689441 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 663.3 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.9572726642 48.9658058833 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.7 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.15 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.9 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.323224384735 0.236089414692 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105990618564 0.076458572812 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.149945991445 0.0737576698707 203% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.25209159294 0.150856017488 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.179605277068 0.0645574589148 278% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.58 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.21 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.