The extended family was prominent in the past but is it still crucial in our modern society? this is the question that we have to ask ourselves. Some people content that they are still important when it comes to enjoying the intimate relationship. As far as I am concerned, the extended family becomes less crucial due to many reasons. I will try to elaborate on my point of view below.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that due to the advanced transportation system in this information age, people do travel a lot and many of them choose to move to another city, or even another country, to obtain more job opportunities or better life quality. No longer do extended family live together. Although family members can still get in touch with each other via modern devices such as mobile phone whenever or wherever they want, it is seldom a natural thing for them to get together and celebrate some important festivals. As the time went by, this long-distance relationship will gradually weaken the significance of the extended family. The importance of extended families fades with the busier life. Apart from this, with the accelerating pace of life, people are burdened with much more pressure than ever before. Thus, they are left with less time to maintain their relationship with extended family members. My roommate Emma is a good case in point. As a cheerleader and a member of the student union, she has to spare no effort to balance her study and after school activities, which makes her as busy as a bee. Although she misses her grandparents, she takes time from her busy schedule to make even a phone call.
Another salient point in corroborating with my stance that the improvement of the technology enhances people's living condition, makes their life more convenient, in another word, the people no longer need any help from their family since everything now becomes available. In the past, some people required their family's help ranging from assistance in the house chores or to sit with their children if they had work. However now, with highly advanced technology, you can do all the house tasks within a short period and without help. Nowadays the parent can get a babysitter to sit with their children if they have work. Some people think they can gain experience from the grandparents but, my own opinion, with access of the internet that we have right now in our world, we can get all the experience and knowledge that we need without any effort. On top of that, the government cares about the education; they try to improve the level of education to help children to get the best possible education. So, we do not need to acquire knowledge and experience from anybody else.
Another point that deserves more words is that under the new circumstances that we face in our world today, people will likely to live with their small care family rather than living with a large number of family members. Living with a large number of people gets you in trouble. They might interfere with your decisions and the rules that you set up in your family to let your kids grow on it and helps them to avoid any dangers. A vivid example can be given to shed light on that subject from my own experience; I was living in a big building with my grandparents and my aunts. Once a time I won the lottery of the USA. Everyone in my family members gave his opinion and saw, and their thought that was the right thing should do. Many perspectives over one something let me to feel hesitation and put me in trouble with my wife since she would like to try to live in the USA and would like to give her children have a better future. Sometimes I felt that my parent's opinion was right since it was tough to live in a new country without friends and had to adapt to the new culture, and traditions. So, these worries let me obey my relatives' decisions. A few years later, I regretted everything in my original country became expensive, and even I couldn't satisfy my basic needs. I think if I decided by myself, I would not take my parents' decision. Thus living away from your extended family protect you from being in trouble.
All these considered, the extended family becomes less crucial when it comes to being independent, and the improvement of the technology has facilitated all the house tasks. So, you do not need any further help.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 94, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...it still crucial in our modern society? this is the question that we have to ask our...
^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o elaborate on my point of view below. The first exquisite point to be mentione...
^^^
Line 3, column 1245, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...usy schedule to make even a phone call. Another salient point in corroborating w...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 326, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to range' or 'range'.
Suggestion: to range; range
...some people required their familys help ranging from assistance in the house chores or ...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 189, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...all care family rather than living with a large number of family members. Living with a large num...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 235, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...e number of family members. Living with a large number of people gets you in trouble. They might ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 581, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Once” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ding with my grandparents and my aunts. Once a time I won the lottery of the USA. Ev...
^^^^
Line 8, column 1018, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as right since it was tough to live in a new country without friends and had to a...
^^
Line 8, column 1249, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...al country became expensive, and even I couldnt satisfy my basic needs. I think if I de...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, so, still, thus, apart from, as to, i think, such as, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 102.0 43.0788530466 237% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 117.0 52.1666666667 224% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 20.0 8.0752688172 248% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3597.0 1977.66487455 182% => OK
No of words: 769.0 407.700716846 189% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.67750325098 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.26600885375 4.48103885553 118% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56073196933 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 349.0 212.727598566 164% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.453836150845 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1147.5 618.680645161 185% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 20.6003584229 175% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.2019831839 48.9658058833 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.9166666667 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3611111111 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.58333333333 5.45110844103 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175175564698 0.236089414692 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0478699150312 0.076458572812 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0580781186345 0.0737576698707 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113956524631 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0484448189982 0.0645574589148 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.86 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 144.0 86.8835125448 166% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.