How Birthdays are celebrated in your home country?

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How Birthdays are celebrated in your home country?

Submitted by Flavinha on Tue, 09/15/2015 - 04:04

Birthdays are important commemorative days in a lot of cultures. In my country, Brazil, it is not different. Brazilians enjoy planning and executing a birthday party as manny other people in the world. Fallowing I will be detailed about how Birthdays are celebrated in Brazil.

To start, we prepare delicious food. Commonly, Brazilians culinary books have a special chapter for party food. There are recipes of national finger foods such as pasteis, coxinhas, and empadas. In addition, recipes of sweet treats as chocolate truffles, cakes, and candies. For example, last week was my daughter's birthday. Then, I prepared a traditional "brigadeiro" birthday cake, the Brazilian kids' favorite cake. This is a super wet chocolate cake with chocolate fudge icing, and sparkles. That is divine!! My daughter's American friends delighted eating that wondefull cake.

Next, we give a particular importance on dance and on music. With all this years living in the USA, I noticed that it is rare to have birthday parties with music being played. I had been going in several American parties and people do not dance or listen to music. Sometimes I get really bored during this parties. Anyone who goes to a Bithday celebration in Brazil can enjoy fun music and choreographies of samba, axe, and forro. Sometimes, a birthday party can last all night long because everyone get so excited and happy that they do not find a reason to go back to home.

Concluding, many cultures celebrate birthdays. In my home country, Brazil, we enjoy eating good food, listening to music, and dancing. That is how Brazilians celebrate Birthdays.

Votes
Average: 9 (3 votes)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

My daughter's American friends delighted eating that wondefull cake.
My daughter's American friends are delighted eating that wondefull cake.

Sentence: With all this years living in the USA, I noticed that it is rare to have birthday parties with music being played.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and years

Sentence: Sometimes I get really bored during this parties.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and parties

Sentence: Sometimes, a birthday party can last all night long because everyone get so excited and happy that they do not find a reason to go back to home.
Description: The fragment everyone get so is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace get with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: Brazilians enjoy planning and executing a birthday party as manny other people in the world.
Error: manny Suggestion: many

Sentence: My daughter's American friends delighted eating that wondefull cake.
Error: wondefull Suggestion: wonderful

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 265 350 //need more content for details. Try to put 5 paragraphs, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3
para 5: conclusion

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 22 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1301 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.909 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.673 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.045 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.764 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.273 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.447 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Hi Could I get a 26 if I fix my mistakes and add the following extra paragraphy?

-With all these years.
-I really get bored with parties.
-...everyone gets/feels so excited and happy...

Finally, we clap when we are singing the Happy Birthday song. This may sound silly, but it is an important cultural characteristic. I mean, people from my country clap and cheer while singing the Happy Birthday. This way, the most important moment of the part is very emotional and loud.In another hand, in the USA, people sing Happy Birthday calmly. I have a interesthing experience regard this cultural difference. I cheered and claped in all the birthday celebration that I had come during my first year living in Unte States, until I noticed that I was the only person that was doing that in the parties. Actually, I was asked by an American friend why I get so enthusiastic during the singing moment. Although, I felt a bit embarassed, I told my friend that it is was a Brazilian particularity, and it was something fun to do. After that, I only have this attitude while I am in a Brazilain birthday party.

Concluding, many cultures celebrate birthdays. In my home country, Brazil, we enjoy eating good food, listening to music, dancing and clapping passionately. That is how Brazilians celebrate Birthdays.