If you want to get promotion at work, which of the following measure would you take?
1. Do more extra additional jobs
2. Participate more actively or state more personal opinions in group discussion.
Nowadays, there are various factors that can affect on an occupation such as doing additional jobs, attending the group meeting, giving effective comments, etc. Each of them has a positive and negative effect on the job, so people must choose the best way to success. In my opinion, participation in group discussion that holds by the office manager is the good choice for obtaining higher qualifications. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder.
To begin with, taking part in office sessions makes chance for people to state their ideas, which their opinions may be an acceptable or not, but one thing is important, and that is it they can show their abilities by in this way, moreover, they prove that jobs' issues are serious for them. Consequently, these interactions change boss's mind about his/her staff; actually, arguments cause the supervisor has a positive attitude about his/her employees. For Example, last year my employer held a conference and asked everyone to present solutions to improve company efficiency. Each of my colleagues talked about an explanation that most of them were impractical, but I could mention a useful solution. My chief analyzed my idea and realized that my view highly beneficial to improving situation office. This event caused the boss to change my position at that time. As a result, we should know that joining in group discussion can modify our future.
Secondly, sometimes participation in group meetings has significant effects on our performance. When people take part in the meeting they hear different beliefs which each of them can be profitable for others. Better to say that, in discussions, people state their ideas about a general or specific issue, but their opinions may not profit for themselves otherwise can be helpful for other members. Therefore, in these meetings, some people can use opinions, which stated by the rest of the people. These concepts can enhance person efficiency and subsequently his/her position in the office. For instance, my brother last summer went to Brazil to attend a seminar which was related to his major. He could learn a lot of marketing techniques from members who participated in the conference. After the trip, he came back to his job and has tried to use his knowledge which earned from congress. After a while, my brother's boss has changed his job position and wage because the education caused him did work better than before. As you can see, attending meetings can alter the future.
To sum up, taking all the reasons and examples into account, I believe that participation in various meetings are useful because they make conditions for people to get a promotion at work.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 46, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...ays, there are various factors that can affect on an occupation such as doing additional ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, consequently, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, such as, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 8.0752688172 223% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2267.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 445.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09438202247 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76331405336 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.579775280899 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 705.6 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.8162302439 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.045454545 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2272727273 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0 5.45110844103 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11150593884 0.236089414692 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0336931028288 0.076458572812 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0302569255498 0.0737576698707 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0816393179607 0.150856017488 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0297418726821 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 86.8835125448 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.