My name is Faiz Mohammed Murshed Al-Aghbari, holding a BSc. In civil engineer from Science and Technology University, Sana’a, Yemen, June 2017. When I was a child, I interested in building block toys. I asked my father to take me to any construction works. I liked to go and pursue construction areas with my father help. Therefore, I dreamed to be a civil engineer.
As a child, growing up in Sana’a city, I joined the only school in my region ‘’Omar Bin Abdul-Aziz School”, which was full of students. Each class had at least eighty students; however, this overcrowding did not prevent me from completing my educational journey with high scores. Three years later, I joined a privet school which helped me to accomplish my studies perfectly until I graduated from high school.
While English is a very important language, I joined The High Academic Canadian Institute in 2010, and l successfully completed the institute program of training and got a diploma certificate. Two years later, I joined Exceed Language Center which considered as one of the best language centers in Yemen. I studied there intermittent periods since 2012. I tried to balance between my undergraduate studies and English studies. Four months ago, I joined Exceed Language Center again, and right now I am preparing The TOEFL iBT. I am working hard to score well in the iBT exam to be capable for my post graduate studies
After graduating from high school, I endeavored to get a scholarship to study abroad. Joining an international university was my goal. I searched a lot but I did not find any. Later, I joined Science and Technology University which considered as one of the best universities in Yemen. I did well meanwhile my undergraduate studies.
I studied several courses such as analysis and design structures by using BIM programs “Robot Structural Analysis, Rivet Structural and AutoCAD Structural Detailing” and CSI programs “Etabs2016, SAP2000 and SAFE”, project management course by using Primavera P6, Site supervision course, and Leica Total Station course. Now, I am professional in these programs and The Total Station device.
Nowadays, I am looking for a scholarship in a country that has an advanced level of education. I feel that getting education in a foreign country such as China is an education itself. Living in such as an environment with people having similar goals and aspiration is an enthralling experience in my academic life and is so considerable importance in my professional career. China has a high educational level. Being a student there is an honor. There are a lot of creative civil engineers in China who makes several fabulous constructions, and I wish to learn from them.
While browsing the web pages, looking for a scholarship in China, I found Tianjin University. I went through the Internet looking after information about Tianjin University, I knew that Tianjin University is focusing on engineering integrated with science, liberal arts, business and law, furthermore, it offers 35 master degree programs. I stared at my laptop screen dreaming about getting a scholarship in this tremendous university.
I am very keen to be one of your students. Having a strong desire to complete my postgraduate studies, will make me a pre-eminent student. If I can get an opportunity to be a part of that intellectually stimulating environment, I am sure my talent will be put to optimal use. I believe, with my persistence and my experience in my major, that I deserve your trust on me. I wish you could consent me to be one of your students and to give me a chance to prove myself.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
As a child, growing up in Sana'a ci...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly until I graduated from high school. While English is a very important langua...
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Line 2, column 622, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be capable for my post graduate studies After graduating from high school, I end...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l meanwhile my undergraduate studies. I studied several courses such as analys...
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Line 4, column 417, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... programs and The Total Station device. Nowadays, I am looking for a scholarship...
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Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ctions, and I wish to learn from them. While browsing the web pages, looking fo...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...arship in this tremendous university. I am very keen to be one of your student...
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Line 7, column 6, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...p in this tremendous university. I am very keen to be one of your students...
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Line 7, column 473, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd to give me a chance to prove myself.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, look, so, well, while, at least, i feel, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2743.0 1977.66487455 139% => OK
No of words: 538.0 407.700716846 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09851301115 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81610080973 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.18866861731 2.67179642975 119% => OK
Unique words: 290.0 212.727598566 136% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.539033457249 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 868.5 618.680645161 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 27.0 9.59856630824 281% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.276825317 48.9658058833 137% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.5862068966 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5517241379 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.72413793103 5.45110844103 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.53405017921 154% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18451194173 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0469287622783 0.076458572812 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0458234115305 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0879115852132 0.150856017488 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0446035435496 0.0645574589148 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.3 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 157.0 86.8835125448 181% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.