People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do

It is hard to deny that spending too much time on entertainment instead of doing the right things we should do leads to less efficient outcome. And such a fact cause impressionable people to generate the opinion that human should spending time only on things they should do thus distributing time perfectly. However, such a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. As far as the advanced technologies and the efficiency of today's economy are concerned, I firmly hold that people nowadays are not spending too much time on enjoying themselves rather than distributing their time properly and doing the right things.

First and foremost, the Internet is such a great invention which brings things unimaginable years ago to life. For example, learning is a serious process in the past, and it may just take place in a classroom. However, thanks to the Internet and great knowledge of engineering, learning can be through lens and screens. Take my French majored friend Rita for example, she learns french on a website with teachers from France and literally know the culture of it. She decides to join the online not because it is required but because she has interest in it. She has told me that she has lots of fun speaking with native speakers in comparison to sitting in the classroom memorizing the grammar. Meanwhile, she is both doing things she should do and enjoying herself, the two are not in conflict.Not to mention, if human always spending time on something serious and productive, they would not find happiness in things they do.

Furthermore, the fact that efficiency led by technological progress today help us finish a task more quickly indicates that we can complete the task without having to spend that much time on work. Take the case of the speed-up function of YouTube and any kind of online video player, which enable viewers to adjust the speed of the videos. As a result, I tend to speed up the videos of a few types, mostly informative like cooking recipe demonstration and book review. Had it not been for the fabulous function, I would never save that much time and save for something more meaningful .

To sum up, I believe people today are not spending too much time on self enjoyment rather than things they should do, they just combine the two together. This is because the advanced technologies and the efficiency led by it.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 796, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Not
...ng herself, the two are not in conflict.Not to mention, if human always spending ti...
^^^
Line 5, column 585, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e and save for something more meaningful . To sum up, I believe people today ar...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, thus, while, as to, for example, kind of, as a result, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2012.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88349514563 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70984662048 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514563106796 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 606.6 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1078921256 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.352941176 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2352941176 20.6045352989 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52941176471 5.45110844103 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.473668253234 0.236089414692 201% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.1371259071 0.076458572812 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.193362980853 0.0737576698707 262% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.315398813813 0.150856017488 209% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.186259950623 0.0645574589148 289% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.