Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

It is crystal clear that education has crucial role in life. It has a significant influence in one's ‎future and he/she can make his/her dreams true through the education. There is controversial ‎question that come in minds whether is it right that parent take their children money for good ‎grades the get. A plethora of person agrees that is right action toward the children; but others ‎have opposite point of view. I am totally agree with this decision for a couple of reason that I ‎will substantiate in following‏.‏
First, offering money for excellent performance of children can cause educational success. To be ‎more specific, since children observe their parents consideration toward their performance in ‎school, the get motivated. Therefore, they have more passion to attempt for better marks. For ‎example, when I was in high school, my mother always give me a little amount of money ‎instead my great score in different courses. When I saw that my mother cares about my school ‎staff, I got so happy and tried to be top student in the final exam. Indeed, my attempts did ‎work, and I made them happy with high scores in final exam and beside that I accomplished to ‎be top student in among all students. As you can see, my mother's encouragement mad me to be ‎a successful student‏.‏
Second, offered money by parents could be a source for children's school expenses. In other ‎words, should children invest their money, they can able to provide their future's educations ‎expenses. For instance, in aforementioned situation about my mother, I didn't expend money ‎since I knew that I will keep on my education in near future and it requires money in order to ‎afford my tuition fee, housing expense, and school-related matters. By these in mind, I collect ‎all money in my bank account. Hence, during my university period, I had no need of extra ‎money from my parents. Although it was hard to pay all expenditures, I easily could do it ‎owing to my prior investments. Consequently, it can be worthwhile for children's future to be ‎supported by offering money regarding their strong performance‏.‏
To sum it up, Is strongly believe that it is an accurate behavior for parents to endorse their ‎children and encourage them by giving the money instead of their remarkable grades because ‎not only can they be stimulated for better performances, but also they can ensure their future's ‎monetary issues‏.‏

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 432, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'agreed'.
Suggestion: agreed
...ve opposite point of view. I am totally agree with this decision for a couple of reas...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 258, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ementioned situation about my mother, I didnt expend money ‎since I knew that I will ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, regarding, second, so, therefore, while, for instance

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2076.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 406.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11330049261 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05549789133 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.591133004926 0.524837075471 113% => OK
syllable_count: 617.4 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 90.0253328438 48.9658058833 184% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.117647059 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8823529412 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64705882353 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.309514350174 0.236089414692 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0993061075604 0.076458572812 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0840712963574 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193874570016 0.150856017488 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0191770202031 0.0645574589148 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.94 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.