Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Most of the parents try to encourage their children to get a high grade in high school. Some parents do not prefer give money to encourage their children since they think it's children's obligation to get a high grade in high school. However, I believe that offering money for children for each high-grade they get in school is a better idea. Here are my reasons which will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.

The first point to mention is that offering money for children will act as a motivator for high school students to get high grades in their exam. As the matter of fact, studying courses for a long time to be a well prepared for final exams is a drudgery work for children. Thus, parents should try to give encouragements to their students to decrease student's hard time during studying the exams. By offering the money, students even will try harder to get the money. For example, a child who really likes to buy toys himself always tries to get the money to buy his favorite toys. In the case of offering money by his parents, the child will work very hard to get the high grade and subsequently, get his favorite toy. As the example show, offering money for students will encourage students to work harder for their exams.

Secondly, students will learn that in order to get a money, they should try hard. On other words, they will learn that money is not obtained simply and they should work hard to get money. The parents who pay money to their children in an exchange of student's higher grade in their exams, teach their children to be more disciplined in their future time. For instance, a child who is paid money no matter ever get a high grade or low may spend a lot of money in different ways since he has not worked hard to get the money. Thus, I believe by offering money for each high-grade children get in school, parents teach another important lesson to their sons and daughters.

Finally, offering money for students is much better than giving a gift or other things for students. If a kid gets the money because of his hardworking in his exam, he can spend his money in any way he likes. Some parents give a special gift to their children when they get a high grade, but I do not thinks this is a good idea because we should permit our children to enjoy their success in any way they prefer. As my personal experience, in the most of times, I was given a prize for my success in the high school, I was not happy. I much liked to get money instead and go to restaurants to eat my delicious pizza.

To put in a nutshell, I believe offering money for children for each grade they get in high school is a good idea and parents should follow this idea. The money will encourage students to work harder, be more disciplined in managing their budget and will give them the right to choose.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 302, Rule ID: DONT_NEEDS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'think'?
Suggestion: think
...hen they get a high grade, but I do not thinks this is a good idea because we should p...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 448, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the times') or simply say ''most times''.
Suggestion: most of the times; most times
...efer. As my personal experience, in the most of times, I was given a prize for my success in ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for example, for instance

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2330.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 524.0 407.700716846 129% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.4465648855 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7844588288 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.30290301032 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 212.727598566 93% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.375954198473 0.524837075471 72% => OK
syllable_count: 703.8 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.3980405343 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.304347826 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7826086957 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.60869565217 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.4484909703 0.236089414692 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.177166413034 0.076458572812 232% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.131270088002 0.0737576698707 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.337401992505 0.150856017488 224% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0831715995863 0.0645574589148 129% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 74.53 58.1214874552 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.83 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.72 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK

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Write the essay in 30 minutes. We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.