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Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

yasaman-pooshidani's picture

Without any shadow of doubt, childhood, the most critical period on humanʻs life is affected by many external factors. A question, a controversial one, which is a matter of debate, is whether offering money to children for their high grades is beneficial or not. Although, it is hard to reach a conssensus on this issue, I am to a great extent on the belief that it is a good idea. The reasons of my choice are manifold, among which being an incentive, making them grown up and learning consequences of good deeds dominate.
To commence, one of the comppeling reasons is that offering money is a good incentive for them inasmuch as they learn to fight for their success and to be persistence. Money provokes them to enterprise and try to reach high marks. To elucidate more, based on statistics issued the number of students whom their parents promised to pay them money due to their high marks had better performance in the school; hence an incentive playes a crucial role in chilcrenʻs improvment.
Alongside the first reason elaborated above it is a good opportunity for students to acquire skills related to spending money on buying stuffs, how to save their money and how to manage it, to name but a few. Students will become mature enough for the near future to take care of themslves and become totally independant. It is crystal clear that parents should always have a close eye on their children and be aware of details of their money exchanges.
Last but not least, by the use of this idea children will consider consequence of their good deeds much more meticulesly. Generally speaking, we should not take the blessing of incentives for granted and make the most of it, it is the felling of pure delight of a life for children. Proper upbringing of children is a pivotal junctore of family and social solidarity of any given society, since they are corner stone of a successful society.
Drawing upon the reasons elaborated above, however there are always some exceptions which are excluded from the general rule. I do believe that money as an prompt is a good prize for children on the ground that encourage them for more strive, help them to act mutually and makes them better people for their community. Isnʻt it better to think of these offers much more scrupulosly to help our children performs efficiently in school and society.

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Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oney on buying stuffs, how to save their money and how to manage it, to name but ...
^^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...eneral rule. I do believe that money as an prompt is a good prize for children on ...
^^
Line 5, column 328, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'betters', 'wells'?
Suggestion: betters; wells
...er people for their community. Isnʻt it better to think of these offers much more scru...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, however, if, so, to a great extent

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1946.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 407.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.78132678133 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49157444576 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64523216906 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.538083538084 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 41.7146182411 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.625 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4375 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.3125 5.45110844103 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.35833795174 0.236089414692 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105253192032 0.076458572812 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0654529624125 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188427491073 0.150856017488 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0386788716318 0.0645574589148 60% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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