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Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics: Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Mahimoon's picture

Since the aim of participating in the school is to train children to be prepared for real life, it is very sensational how to teach them face challenges such as fulfilling a task and getting high scores in school. Although some people might adhere to the idea that giving money as reward to children in school is a practical approach, others believe that it is not a good idea to motivate students by money. From my vintage point, paying money to students when they achieve high grade in the school is not a suitable idea for nurturing children. I will elaborate on my reasons through the following paragraphs.

To start with, it is worthy to mention that by considering money as a reward for encouraging students to study more and get higher scores, children will be focusing on earning money instead of learning in school after a while. The reason that students get marks in school is that to let them know how their learning process is evaluated, and they should try more if it is required. So, offering money after reaching high marks in the school, will change the purpose of exams and classes. Take a personal experience as an example: my youngest brother was not doing very well in the school, so my parents started to keep him galvanized by paying money or buying expensive thing for him. His results got better and better: the more they gave him the reward, the more he tryed to study. It is not far from the imagination that my parents were sure that my brother was a hard-working student, so the next year, they stopped buying him new things. As it is predictable, my brother refused to study and his grades were too poor again. It is a commonly held belief that putting effort on learning in school should be based on an eternal desire, because external factors could be simply cut.

Another reason I would like to bring up is that children should learn that making a better future for themselves does not always come with an award. People do many actions in their lives to make improvements and breakthroughs, but only very little of those will be appreciated. Students should be tought that trying and learning is a personal issue and they cannot expect receive prizes after doing a favor for themselves. They should konw that not only some efforts do not face appreciation, but also sometimes people will not make a success in their lives even though they have been working hard to achieve it.

To make a long story short, I hold the view that paying money to school-age children is not the best idea because it will distract children from concentrating on learning, and it will deprive them from getting the insight that not all of our actions are getting a reward.

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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 417, Rule ID: VINTAGE_POINT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'vantage point'?
Suggestion: vantage point
... to motivate students by money. From my vintage point, paying money to students when they ach...

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, well, while, such as, to start with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2217.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 476.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65756302521 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50427482128 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495798319328 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 664.2 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.231451899 48.9658058833 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.411764706 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.17647058824 5.45110844103 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.369518463991 0.236089414692 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117627806306 0.076458572812 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0823490467447 0.0737576698707 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226199896865 0.150856017488 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0846244119416 0.0645574589148 131% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.98 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.8 10.1575268817 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 10.247311828 176% => OK
What are above readability scores?

Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.